The Importance of “You Are Significant” in the Wake of My Friend’s Suicide

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By: Jane Doe
Updated: Dec. 13, 2019
Originally Published: Jan. 22, 2018

September marks Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a concept I had never truly grasped until it personally impacted my life. This shift in perspective came after the tragic loss of my dear friend, Emily, on January 18, 2016. I specifically choose the term “died by suicide,” as the phrase “committed suicide” implies intent in a way that feels unjust to those who suffer from mental health issues. Emily was not someone who would have “committed” such a desperate act; she was a loving mother and had so much potential. Referring to her death in a matter-of-fact way minimizes the complexity of her struggles with mental illness.

On a societal level, we often dismiss mental health conditions. Labels such as “crazy” or “addict” obscure the reality that mental illnesses are genuine medical conditions. Emily was a victim of her own mind, a mind that betrayed her, and of a system that failed to provide adequate support.

From the moment I met her at 14, Emily was a remarkable individual. At 6’3″, she had a striking presence. While she appeared resilient and tough on the outside, internally she battled insecurities and vulnerability. I recall her struggles with depression during our teenage years. In her 20s, she successfully managed her symptoms with therapy, meditation, and yoga, eventually going off medication.

When she welcomed her first child at 26, we discussed the possibility of postpartum depression and made a plan together. Thankfully, she navigated this new chapter without experiencing severe depression. Those early years with her son were filled with joy and bonding, and our friendship blossomed anew as we shared the challenges of motherhood alongside our professional lives.

However, after the birth of her second child five years later, things took a different turn. I was taken by surprise when Emily began to experience postpartum depression. During this tumultuous time, she was also dealing with a separation from her partner, which further complicated her situation. Our communication dwindled, and I found myself unable to reach her.

One year before her death, during a concerning episode, I visited her home with others to persuade her to seek hospital care. We intentionally avoided mentioning mental health, knowing that would deter her from going. Unfortunately, once there, she managed to convince the staff that she was merely “exhausted” and needed more rest. My heart sank; she was clearly unwell, yet she couldn’t acknowledge it.

Almost exactly one year later, I received the devastating news of Emily’s death. We had become estranged after that hospital visit, communicating only through social media. Regret flooded over me for not recognizing the severity of her situation, and I wish she had reached out. If she had, I would have told her something simple yet profound: “You are significant. You are important to me, and although things feel bleak now, they can improve. Let me support you. You don’t have to endure this alone.” You are significant. You are significant. You are significant. I deeply loved you, Emily.

If you or someone you know is in need of assistance, it’s crucial to seek help. For resources, visit our blog at intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, for expert guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, you can check out Johns Hopkins Medicine and Make a Mom for reliable information.

In summary, the message of significance and support is vital for those struggling with mental health issues. We must foster an environment where individuals feel valued and encouraged to seek help.