Updated: December 13, 2019
Originally Published: January 23, 2018
Living with depression is an arduous journey. Despite my attempts with various medications and therapy sessions, this condition remains a constant presence, lurking quietly yet ominously. No matter my efforts, I am acutely aware of its shadows, ready to strike during my moments of vulnerability. It whispers insidious thoughts of inadequacy that can lead to a debilitating state of immobility.
Experiencing depression often feels like trudging through thick molasses; every action becomes laborious, requiring immense effort. While mental illness may be invisible, its physical toll is undeniable. At times, I find myself lacking the energy even to stand and shower, resorting instead to a bath. There are instances when I skip bathing altogether, choosing to avoid the world outside rather than face scrutiny about my appearance.
Days may pass in the same clothes—sometimes even weeks. While this may appear unkempt, it is a reality of living with a mental illness. This struggle is not rooted in laziness; rather, it is a theft of motivation. Each limb feels as if it is burdened with an unseen anvil.
As an introvert, my instinct is to retreat into solitude to recharge. This tendency can frustrate friends who wish to help but are unsure of how to approach the situation. One of the most effective ways to support someone battling depression is to provide space and understanding.
Mental illness presents differently for each individual, and I recognize how difficult it is for loved ones to witness my depressive episodes. I find it hard to let friends see me in such a state; the desire to help often feels futile. I resent the helplessness that accompanies my depression and the impact it has on those around me.
Reaching out can be incredibly challenging for those suffering from depression. The stigma surrounding mental health issues can make it feel embarrassing to admit to being paralyzed by one’s own mind. Friends can best assist by being available to listen whenever we feel inclined to talk, without pressuring us into social situations, especially in larger groups. Depression can significantly alter serotonin levels, making even basic social interactions feel insurmountable.
It is crucial to avoid dismissive comments regarding a friend’s depression, as such statements can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. Phrases like “just get over it” or “go outside for some sun” can feel not only unhelpful but also cruel. Those of us grappling with depression often have our harshest critics living within our minds, reinforcing beliefs of worthlessness and despair.
When a friend withdraws during a depressive episode, reach out and affirm your support, even in the darkest of times. Offer your presence and let them know you are there to listen whenever they are ready. Sometimes, a simple reminder of love and care can provide comfort, even if it doesn’t lead to immediate improvement.
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In summary, depression can lead individuals to isolate themselves, making it vital for friends to offer support through presence and understanding. Acknowledging the struggle without pressure or judgment is key to helping those in need.