As someone who has battled depression and anxiety throughout my life, I found myself particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression (PPD). Throughout my journey with three children, I experienced varying intensities of PPD. With my firstborn, I faced postpartum anxiety, which manifested as a compulsive need to seek medical advice for every minor symptom. After my second child, I encountered mild postpartum depression, often referred to as the “Baby Blues.” By the time my third child arrived, I was overwhelmed with intense guilt and shame.
A common refrain I consistently heard during these challenging times was, “It’s just hormones. You have so much to be grateful for!” While I fully understand that these comments were made with good intentions, they stung every single time.
As a society, we frequently overlook the humanity of new mothers. When a mother expresses fatigue, the typical response is laughter and nostalgic anecdotes about how “every mother experiences this.” There’s a noticeable shift in conversation; inquiries about emotional well-being diminish, replaced with probing questions about physical changes that are typically considered private. Mothers often find their choices and experiences treated as communal topics.
Experiencing postpartum depression is akin to being on fire while simultaneously winning a lottery. Everyone around you celebrates, expecting joy, yet it is profoundly challenging to appreciate your blessings when you feel engulfed in flames.
Mothers are acutely aware that they should be basking in happiness, yet they find themselves trapped in a cycle of despair. Time moves swiftly, and they watch their babies grow while feeling detached and exhausted. The reality of their situation feels like an invisible but ever-present burn.
In light of this, when interacting with a new mother, it’s crucial not to merely highlight her blessings—she is already aware of them. Instead, focus on re-establishing her sense of self beyond motherhood. Offer practical help, such as preparing meals or caring for her baby, allowing her a moment to shower or rest.
Plants don’t celebrate lottery wins, and lampposts don’t count their blessings. To effectively support a new mother in rediscovering joy in her role, it’s essential to acknowledge her struggles. Help her feel human again amidst the chaos.
For more insights related to postpartum challenges and the experiences of motherhood, check out this other blog post on the topic. If you’re interested in home insemination options, you can visit Cryobaby for expert advice. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Navigating postpartum depression is an intricate journey, often marred by well-meaning but misguided comments. New mothers need support that acknowledges their struggles rather than dismissing them. By focusing on their emotional and physical needs, we can help them reclaim their identity beyond motherhood.