I often find myself astonished at how many times I hear the following question each week: “Hi Samantha! Adorable child! Are you staying home full time? What ELSE are you up to?” At what point did the role of a stay-at-home parent become insufficient in society’s eyes?
Honestly, I have been guilty of harboring similar judgmental thoughts towards stay-at-home parents, particularly those with one child. I used to think, how demanding could it be to simply spend time with a baby? Surely, managing two children is where the real challenge lies, right?
Little did I know. The first three months of motherhood can be excruciatingly difficult, especially for those who choose to breastfeed. I had heard warnings about fatigue and sleep deprivation, but nothing could prepare me for the reality of losing REM sleep altogether.
In many cases, mothers return to work after just three months, especially in states like Nevada. I came across an article on my “What to Expect” app that revealed Nevada ranks as the third worst state for raising children—47th out of 50! That’s disheartening. The average wage here tends to be lower, which often necessitates both parents to join the workforce to support their family.
Consequently, stay-at-home parents can sometimes feel animosity from those who wish they could be in the same position but cannot, while also facing scrutiny from society for not “juggling it all” at home and in their careers.
It seems that societal values have shifted dramatically from honoring the role of women who stay at home to expecting them to manage everything: home, work, and extracurricular activities for their kids. This shift is likely a reason films like Bad Moms resonate so well with audiences; we simply can’t do it all, and if we try, we often find ourselves overwhelmed.
As an overachiever, I found pregnancy to be particularly frustrating due to the limitations it imposed. Those limitations didn’t simply vanish post-birth. Although my body regained much of its functionality, my days are now divided into 20-minute and 1-hour intervals.
The key to navigating life as a stay-at-home parent is accepting that reality. It involves a selfless commitment of your time, energy, and sleep to raise a little one. It also requires letting go of the frustration that arises from others questioning, “Why aren’t you doing more?”
Part of the challenge stems from my own overachieving mindset. I often grapple with the notion of juggling numerous tasks daily, only to realize that perhaps accomplishing just one significant thing is a more realistic goal.
This experience has made me acutely aware of my past judgments towards other women. It’s a reminder that everyone deserves the space to make their own choices about how they spend their time. Instead of questioning those decisions, I should encourage others to remain true to themselves.
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In summary, the journey of a stay-at-home parent is filled with challenges and societal expectations that can be overwhelming. It’s essential to acknowledge the value of dedicating oneself to raising a child and to embrace the choices that families make regarding their time and priorities.