Parenting
The Day I Laid My Last Concern to Rest
by Jessica Taylor
Updated: Sep. 7, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 26, 2023
Recently, a friend of mine shared a comical meme on social media that instantly caught my attention. It featured the cover of an old Nancy Drew book, depicting three girls burying something in the night. The title read, “The Mysterious Night We Buried Our Last Concern.” It made me laugh out loud! The group of mothers tagged in the post has a reputation for gathering to commiserate about the trials of motherhood. To be honest, we primarily meet to let our children wear each other out, enjoy some coffee, and engage in a good venting session.
Now, I know some moms might look down on us for this. They often emphasize that we should be grateful, that we’re blessed, and that our children are divine gifts. And I absolutely agree with that sentiment. However, after being a stay-at-home mom for over five years, I can attest that sometimes, a good complaint is necessary. If you’re one of those moms who feels blessed all the time—good for you! But I wouldn’t recommend hanging out with my circle of friends anytime soon. We’re still navigating the challenges of motherhood, from sleepless nights to shoveling our lunches into our mouths while juggling snacks and chores, all while attempting to train our bodies to take bathroom breaks at the most inconvenient times. This is our life—a beautiful, exhausting, love-filled life.
The truth is, it often feels like moms lack basic rights. We can’t eat when we’re hungry or use the restroom when we need to. Sleep? What’s that? I once ran a red light out of sheer exhaustion. It’s illegal to drive under the influence, but what about the fatigue of motherhood? We just have to push through.
Now, back to that meme. There was a time I was one of those “blessed” moms—the ones who judged others. I had dreamed of being a mother my whole life and was determined to be the best one possible. I read every parenting book, adhered to all the rules, and followed every Pinterest idea. Most of the pressure I felt was self-imposed as I aimed for the “perfect mom” image. But fear of judgment loomed large; I felt scrutinized for every choice I made, from stroller use to feeding methods.
Things escalated when my son started throwing tantrums. The judgment became palpable during public meltdowns. The more I felt the scrutiny, the more I pushed myself, leading to utter exhaustion. Until one day, I decided to let go of my last concern.
That day stands out vividly in my memory. It was an incredibly cold day, and we found ourselves at Chick-fil-A, a haven for many stay-at-home moms. The staff made us feel valued, which is a rarity in our day-to-day lives. After an hour and a half, it was time to head home for my daughter Maddie’s nap. I issued a five-minute warning, but I knew a struggle awaited us.
As expected, when the time came to leave, Maddie threw a full-blown tantrum, and Graham, my son, was equally uncooperative about putting on his shoes and coat. Taking a deep breath, I scooped up my screaming toddler, grabbed the coats, and warned Graham in my sternest voice that he needed to follow me to the car. I can still envision the scene: Maddie kicking and screaming, me weighed down by an assortment of items, while Graham lagged behind, barefoot and whining. We trudged through the freezing cold like that.
As we approached the car, I crossed paths with an older woman who shot me a disapproving glare. You know the look—the kind that conveys judgment without a single word spoken. I could almost hear her thoughts: “What kind of mother allows her children to act like that?” Instead of letting her judgment affect me, I met her gaze with a smile. I wasn’t going to let her criticism get under my skin. I’ve learned enough over the years to know that I’m doing my best as a mother.
In that moment, I realized I had truly buried my last concern. And just like that, I felt liberated.
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In summary, the experience of motherhood is filled with challenges, and sometimes, we need to let go of the concerns that weigh us down to truly embrace the journey.