Let me begin by stating that a significant portion of my social circle is comprised of white individuals. This has been the case throughout my life. In my younger years, I often overlooked the nuances of our racial differences and how they influenced our daily interactions; it simply wasn’t on my radar.
However, as racial issues have resurfaced in recent years, I’ve become increasingly conscious of my dynamics with my white friends. This awareness isn’t born from a fear that they harbor hidden racist sentiments, but rather from their often performative “wokeness.” Many white individuals, particularly white women, seem eager to demonstrate how non-racist they are, turning it into a sort of contest about who can be the most “woke.” But here’s the truth: it’s not a competition. Attempting to showcase your allyship often exemplifies the pitfalls of white feminism.
So, let’s take a deep breath and reevaluate. If you claim to be “woke,” then truly embody it.
How many times have my white female friends asked me, “You’ll call me out if I mess up, right?” I usually chuckle and agree, but the truth is, I often don’t. It isn’t my responsibility to point out your missteps. If you genuinely consider yourself as “woke” as you portray on social media, you should be able to recognize your own errors. But since I know that’s not always how it works, here’s my candid message: take notes, because I won’t repeat myself.
If you’re going to commit to this cause, you need to be fully invested. You can’t selectively choose what to be outraged about.
Take, for instance, the recent Super Bowl.
Football doesn’t particularly interest me; I’m more about the snacks, like pigs in a blanket and honey BBQ wings. I usually only watch for the Halftime Show, which varies based on the performer. This year, I was excited because Justin Timberlake was headlining, someone I’ve admired for nearly two decades.
On the day of the game, I noticed numerous white feminist friends posting lengthy rants about their disdain for Justin Timberlake. “Unless his performance is an apology to Janet Jackson, I’m not interested. He’s cancelled.”
Let’s take a moment. “Nipplegate” occurred 14 years ago, and at that time, Justin was not the headliner. Janet Jackson is an adult who can speak for herself, and that narrative has long been resolved. Justin doesn’t owe you a public apology for your personal grievances. Just because you’ve read an article criticizing him doesn’t give you a platform to speak on behalf of Janet. How many of you can name a song by her beyond “Rhythm Nation”?
And let’s not forget that while you’re quick to criticize Justin, you often fail to support Black women consistently. It’s quite hypocritical.
This message comes from a place of genuine concern, but I’m done tolerating this behavior. As much as I cherish our friendships, I must be honest with you.
You can’t express outrage over a Super Bowl performance and then don your pink pussy hat to march for women’s rights. We know that those marches were primarily motivated by white women realizing their rights were at stake. Meanwhile, Black women have always faced compromised rights, yet we’re often sidelined in these movements. You extend gratitude to Black women for voting but neglect to support those who are currently running for office.
You celebrate women like Michelle Obama and Oprah for their inspiring speeches, but what about the actual politicians who are doing the work? If you want a Black woman for president, uplift those already in the trenches, like Kamala Harris.
While you may educate your children about historical Black figures, there are countless unsung heroes beyond Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman. Teach them about Phyllis Wheatley, Sojourner Truth, or more modern figures like Lorraine Hansberry, a significant playwright and advocate for LGBT rights.
And please, let’s allow Martin Luther King Jr. to rest. He is tired of being invoked to validate your views on peaceful protest. If you use another quote from him to fit your narrative, I might scream.
You advocate for Beyoncé and encourage women to “get in formation,” but can you name any contributions from the Black Panthers? Our fight is not yours to co-opt. You mourn for Michael Brown but may not even recognize the name Emmett Till.
You can’t cherry-pick which aspects of Black culture you’ll support. You can’t express solidarity through #MeToo while only amplifying white women’s stories. The Black woman who initiated #MeToo specifically for Black women wasn’t even featured on the cover of Time Magazine.
When you suggest charities for donations and none focus on uplifting Black communities, I notice. When a Black friend experiences discrimination and you feel the need to highlight their prestigious job rather than their identity, I notice. When your “wokeness” is only active when it’s trendy, I notice.
It’s time to step up, ‘woke’ white women, because I’m done with this pretense.
In Summary
If you want to be a true ally, commit fully to supporting Black women and their causes, educate yourself on their history and contributions, and recognize that being “woke” requires consistent action, not just performative gestures.