Your cart is currently empty!
Reflections on Love After Losing My Partner
February 14, Valentine’s Day—a date often filled with expressions of love. For many, it means receiving flowers, indulging in lavish dinners, and sharing chocolates. There are also those lucky enough to enjoy intimate moments, but not everyone shares that joy. Restaurants bustle with couples, stores sell out of heart-themed gifts, and social media brims with declarations of love.
This year, however, those familiar comforts will be absent from my life. I remind myself that this is simply part of the grieving process, part of the painful “Year of Firsts” after losing my husband. I’ll likely sift through countless sentimental cards from the past 19 Valentine’s Days. Memories flood in, such as how we celebrated the day as the due date of our first child eleven years ago. I’ll think of the bouquet he sent across the country on our inaugural Valentine’s together and the sweet surprises he brought me throughout the years. Yet, I know I will endure. I will be okay. It’s just another day now.
I’m not alone in this feeling. Many others wish for February 14 to pass unnoticed. Countless individuals are grappling with their own losses, going unnoticed by those around them. I see them in the grocery store, paused in front of the Valentine’s section, or standing quietly in the shadows of couples, hearts heavy with unshared love.
In the months since my husband’s passing, I’ve been compelled to share my experiences. This has led me to connect with widows and widowers across the nation, each sharing their own tales of heartbreak. Their stories often leave me feeling inadequate to provide comfort or advice. Yet, they reach out, seeking solace in shared pain.
I joined an online support group for young widows, where I encountered stories so tragic they eclipsed my own. One widow’s loss coincided with Valentine’s Day. The stories from these women, many with children younger than mine, evoke a profound sense of empathy within me. I can feel their sorrow through the emails we exchange, my keyboard often stained with tears. Many are paralyzed by their grief, unsure of how to navigate their futures or support their children’s questions about their missing parent.
I don’t possess the answers to their challenges, as I am still finding my way. I encourage them to lean on friends and family who can provide support, understanding that reaching out is often a monumental task. I worry that many of these women are isolated in their grief, lacking the community to share their burdens.
Thus, I write. I implore you to extend kindness and understanding to those facing heartbreak. They endure pain daily, not just on this commercialized day of love, but each morning they awaken without their partners. This Valentine’s Day, look for those in need. Be the source of kindness, encouragement, and a listening ear.
This morning, my daughter was humming a tune while coloring. I peeked in to hear her better and recognized it as The O’Jays’ rendition of “Love Train.” Her off-key rendition brought a smile to my face: “People all over the world, join hands, start a love train, love train.” Regardless of the melody, the message was unmistakable—LOVE. Share it freely.
This article was originally published on Feb. 12, 2018.
For further information about home insemination, check out this authoritative resource. You can also find valuable insights on infertility at this CDC page. For privacy concerns, please see our policy at this link.
Summary:
In the aftermath of losing a partner, love can feel elusive, particularly on occasions like Valentine’s Day. Many individuals struggle silently with their grief, and it’s essential to reach out and offer support to those affected. Sharing stories of loss can foster connection and understanding, reminding us all of the importance of love in its many forms.