Lifestyle
Throughout much of my life, I had modest breasts—small, perky, and hardly more than a handful. On my best days, I barely fit into an A cup; on my worst, it felt like a training bra was too much. When a so-called modeling agent offered to finance my breast augmentation, I turned him down.
I wanted to say yes more than anything. I admired fuller breasts, envying how they filled out bikinis and enhanced dresses. They provided my more voluptuous friends with an air of femininity and confidence. However, I refused to feel indebted to someone who dictated my self-worth. Who was he to judge my beauty?
Insecurities plagued me. How would my friends and family react? Would I face their judgment? I declined the offer, but the desire for larger breasts lingered. This led to a growing collection of push-up bras and even an absurd device called Brava, which promised an increase in size but was essentially two suction cups connected to a faulty pump. Spoiler: it didn’t work.
Fast forward a decade, and pregnancy transformed my body in a remarkable way. My previously small A-cup blossomed into a milk-filled D-cup. It was painful but exhilarating! My closest friends probably still have a picture of my post-pregnancy chest tucked away on their phones. I made sure my husband secured that photo on a hard drive. I relished those curves.
After two consecutive pregnancies and continuous breastfeeding, I held on to my larger breast size longer than expected. When I weaned, I was devastated to find that I had shrunk back into ill-fitting bikini tops. I even pondered if I should have another child to regain my beloved breasts. Those were real thoughts!
After navigating hormonal shifts post-breastfeeding and multiple consultations about cosmetic surgery, I was finally ready to make my D-cups permanent. However, I had to confront my lingering concern about others’ opinions. I knew judgment awaited me.
Here are some potential criticisms I anticipated and my responses:
“She’s experiencing a mid-life crisis.”
As I inch closer to forty, I realize there’s so much left to enjoy—moments with family, delightful brunches, and loving myself. This is possibly the youngest I’ll feel, and I refuse to let that slip away without action. If this decision stems from a mid-life crisis, so be it! Taking the leap to fulfill a long-held desire is not unhealthy. Whether it’s getting implants or dyeing your hair, it’s all about embracing who you are.
“Her husband pressured her into it.”
In my situation, my husband actually urged me not to proceed. He loved me as I was and expressed concerns about influencing our daughter’s perception of beauty. Valid points, but just as I wouldn’t let a man dictate my choices in college, I wouldn’t do that now. If I had chosen to enhance myself for my husband, would that be wrong?
“She’s superficial.”
And so are you! Everyone has their way of expressing beauty, whether it’s through makeup, tattoos, or fashion choices. We all care about our appearance to some degree, and that’s part of being human. What’s beautiful is subjective, and in America, we have the freedom to define that for ourselves.
“They’re artificial.”
Actually, they feel incredibly real to me. I was concerned about feeling unnatural, but I’m happy to report that I still feel like myself—cellulite, PMS, and all. There are no regrets here!
“Her kids will feel inadequate about their bodies.”
This was my biggest concern. My daughter is a unique individual, blissfully unaware of societal pressures about appearance. I want her to understand that she is perfect as she is, but I also want her to know that if she wishes to change something about herself, it’s her choice. When she’s old enough to understand, I’ll be transparent about my decision, emphasizing that beauty is often curated and not always natural.
Ultimately, I’ll support my children’s choices about their own bodies as they grow. Just as I’ve chosen to transform my own, they too will have the agency to make decisions about their appearances when they are adults.
This article was originally published on February 13, 2018. For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, you can check out this excellent resource.
Summary
In this personal narrative, Jamie Collins reflects on her journey of self-acceptance and the decision to undergo breast augmentation. Initially deterred by societal pressures and personal insecurities, she ultimately embraces her desire for transformation. Jamie addresses potential criticisms regarding her choices, emphasizing that self-improvement can stem from a place of empowerment rather than vanity. She also contemplates the impact of her choices on her children’s perceptions of beauty and self-worth, committing to open communication about body image and personal choices.