Reaching the milestone of 40 brought an unexpected sense of freedom. While many claim that 40 is merely the new 20, I find that notion misleading. In my twenties, I grappled with insecurities and a lack of self-awareness; I often overlooked my own desires. Fast metabolism and youthful looks didn’t compensate for my uncertainty.
Now, as I embrace my 40s, I continue to evolve daily. There’s a newfound acceptance of myself, and therein lies the true essence of liberation. Did this realization come crashing down on me at 40? In a way, yes, though it was more of a gradual awakening. It soon became evident that this was my moment to shine, as the uncertainty of life loomed large. I began to accept my insecurities regarding my personality and appearance, and with this surge of confidence, my sexual desire skyrocketed—like a cheetah sprinting towards its target.
I vividly remember confiding in my friend, “I’ve found myself being intimate with myself much more frequently. It feels fantastic, but is there something wrong with me?” The only actual “problem” was simply not having enough time to explore all the desires bubbling within me.
This newfound passion for intimacy stemmed from a long-overdue self-love and acceptance. Additionally, as my children matured, I no longer felt overwhelmed with constant demands for affection. They were becoming more independent, allowing me the mental space to focus on my own needs.
Women in their 40s possess a unique clarity; we discern nonsense with ease, which empowers us to walk away from situations that drain our energy. This newfound freedom enables us to feel sexy, discover our true selves, and prioritize self-care without worrying about the opinions of others—like that of a fellow parent from the PTA regarding my bold leopard-print shoes.
With this self-awareness, I’ve become attuned to what suits me best—whether it’s my hairstyle, wardrobe choices, or preferences in intimacy. I’ve come to fully accept myself, making it easy to ask for what I desire, purchase alluring lingerie, or experiment with new toys. Yes, even in my younger years, I dabbled in these things, but I lacked the comfort and confidence to own them. Now, I embrace it wholeheartedly because I’ve discovered that toys and lingerie can elevate pleasure from merely satisfactory to extraordinary.
And, honestly, I find immense joy in experiencing exceptional intimacy amidst the daily routine of parenting, like baking cookies or cleaning the floors.
I’m not alone in this awakening as many women find their sexual fantasies and desires intensifying around this age. A study highlighted in Time, involving 827 women, revealed that those who had moved past their peak fertility but were not yet in menopause were among the most sexually active. The same study noted that women aged 27 to 45 tend to have more sexual fantasies and feel an increased sense of lust. The common thread? Many women become increasingly comfortable in their own skin as they age, opening doors to a liberating new chapter.
Can I get an “Amen”? I find myself wondering if this deep connection to my sexuality will continue to blossom as I approach 50. The anticipation is thrilling.
In conclusion, turning 40 has ushered in a remarkable shift in my self-acceptance and sexual desire, allowing me to embrace my femininity and explore my wants with confidence. This journey of self-discovery is empowering, and it’s exciting to consider what the future holds.
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