The Weight of Responsibility: An Educator’s Perspective

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As an educator, my keychain is a constant reminder of the risks I face daily. It’s laden with keys to various classrooms and a technology cabinet filled with valuable tools that enhance my teaching. However, the most significant key is my lockdown key, distinguished by a bright red loop, ensuring it’s easily accessible during an emergency. This key symbolizes the sobering reality that, should a crisis occur, I must act swiftly to protect my students — the lives of young individuals entrusted to my care.

Teaching in a Changed Community

I teach composition at a small college in South Florida, which I consider my vocation. Most of my students are in their late teens, with many being dual-enrolled high school students who attended a school just miles away from the site of a tragic shooting that forever changed our community. The memories of that day linger, and many of my students are connected to the school in some way, either as alumni or through friends and family.

The lockdown key allows me to secure every door in my school from the inside, including restrooms. Each day as I travel to work, enjoying a peaceful commute with coffee in hand and podcasts playing, I can’t help but wonder if today will be the day I need to use it. The thought that my life could be at risk while teaching — simply sharing knowledge with young minds — is a weight I carry daily.

The Courage to Teach

I’ve never considered myself courageous. Skydiving or reporting from a conflict zone are far from my inclinations. However, each day, I muster the strength to unlock my classroom door and teach. I never anticipated that my profession would involve such peril alongside that faced by police and military personnel. While we often refer to ourselves as warriors in a metaphorical sense, the reality has become painfully literal.

This shift has made us confront scenarios that extend beyond lesson plans to escape routes and safety protocols. As I prepare to teach literature, I grapple with the gravity of the situation. I long to engage my students with the works of authors like Ta-Nehisi Coates, Tayari Jones, and Amy Tan, rather than devising emergency plans for potential violence.

Shared Responsibility

When lockdown procedures are enacted, I guide my students to safety, encouraging silence and calm while I recite poems to offer solace. I would willingly protect them, as it is in our nature as educators to care for every child as if they were our own. We recognize a shared responsibility — there is no separation between “your children” and “my children.”

As a teacher and a parent, my concerns are compounded. I drop my daughter off at her school each morning, taking a moment to embrace her tightly and cherish those fleeting seconds before parting ways. The reality is that any school could be vulnerable, including hers or mine.

In my daughter’s classroom, her teacher employs clever strategies to help young children remain quiet during drills, recognizing the heightened anxiety we now face. This anxiety isn’t unique to me; every educator I know has a plan in place, and we practice drills for when the unimaginable happens.

Commitment to Teaching

Despite this fear, I do not reconsider my commitment to teaching. My job is my passion and purpose, and I refuse to let fear dictate my actions. I continue to impart knowledge to my students, hoping to inspire them to create a better future. If I can guide them well, perhaps they will succeed where we have faltered.

Expressing the emotions felt in South Florida during such trying times is difficult. Terms like “terrified” and “devastated” seem inadequate. My students have been shaken, and I have encouraged them to seek comfort with loved ones. As parents rallied for increased security measures at schools, our community felt the immediate impact of the tragedy, with familiar faces appearing on news reports.

The Power of Language

In my composition classes, I stress the importance of using language for good. Our words should uplift and inspire rather than tear down. They should serve not only to tell our stories but also to advocate for change. It’s a stark reality that I shouldn’t fear teaching basic writing skills, nor should my students feel anxious in their classrooms.

We must take action to ensure that such events never happen again. Each word I write here honors those who lost their lives in the tragedy, reminding us all of our shared humanity and the need for change.

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Summary

In the face of increasing school violence, educators grapple with the dual roles of teaching and ensuring student safety. The weight of responsibility is heavy, as teachers navigate their calling while confronting the realities of fear and protection. Despite the anxiety, they remain committed to their mission of guiding young minds, hoping to foster a future where such tragedies are a thing of the past.