Parenting
I’m a Wonderful Mom — I Just Raise My Voice Occasionally
by Jessica Reynolds
Updated: Jan. 10, 2019
Originally Published: Feb. 27, 2018
One evening, as we were getting the kids ready for bed, with all the windows wide open, I found myself delivering a rather loud talk about the importance of listening. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. My immediate thought was, “Oh no. What did they just overhear?” A sweet elderly couple stood on the porch, grinning. Without thinking, I blurted, “Did you hear me lecturing my kids?” They exchanged knowing smiles, reminiscent of those who have already navigated the parenting journey. “No, did they need a lecture?” they replied. I chuckled, while my partner likely wished to disappear. The kids, in their pajamas with damp hair from their baths, stood there, unsure of what to think.
I am a wonderful mom, I swear. I just tend to raise my voice a tad.
From a young age, I envisioned myself as the ideal mom who never raised her voice. The issue with childhood promises is that they are often naive. And let’s be real—anyone who hasn’t been a parent cannot really judge my parenting capabilities.
Children can push you to your limits in ways you could never foresee. As for those moms who seem to never raise their voices? I suspect they possess a different genetic makeup than I do. I bet they struggle with other things, like not laughing at silly kid jokes or missing spontaneous dance parties after dinner (two areas where I excel).
So let me clarify: I genuinely believe I’m a wonderful mom. It’s just that kids can make me feel a bit more crazy than anticipated. Over the past 11 years of parenting, I’ve made significant strides to curb my yelling, yet it still happens.
To the woman giving me a disapproving look in the grocery store parking lot while I’m urging my three-year-old to buckle up, I assure you, I’m a great mom. You didn’t witness the two minutes of him staring blankly while I waited patiently. And when he finally turned around, it was at a snail’s pace, making me feel like my life was flashing before my eyes. So please, forgive my outburst.
I love my kids deeply and I’m striving to overcome this habit.
To the neighbor who hears me shouting at my kids because they can’t seem to stop dancing in front of the mirror long enough to brush their teeth, I promise I’m a great mom. I just yell occasionally because my kids’ attention spans resemble those of small animals.
And to the friend who saw me lose my cool at the neighborhood kids who attempted to toss my child into a trash can, I stand by my reaction. A little fear keeps them in line, right?
To the customer service representative on the phone who hears me yell at my child to be quiet before I lose my mind, just know—I’m a good mom. They never allow me to talk on the phone without interruptions.
I’ve noticed a significant reduction in my yelling over time. Setting goals for myself as a mother is essential, and I understand that constant yelling can be harmful. That’s why I make every effort to minimize it. I’ve learned to apologize sincerely when I raise my voice and recognize that breaking bad habits requires time. Yelling occasionally when we’re running late for school won’t scar anyone for life.
I embrace my imperfections. Yes, I yell at times, but I assure you, I have valid reasons.
I’m committed to becoming the mom who doesn’t yell, but I refuse to give up laughing at silly jokes during dinner.
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Summary:
Being a parent can push one’s patience, leading to moments of raised voices. While striving to be the best mom possible, I acknowledge that I sometimes yell, especially when kids test my limits. However, I remain committed to improving and maintaining a joyful household despite the chaos that comes with parenting.