By: Jamie Carson
Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: March 7, 2018
For months now, we’ve had a deceased parakeet occupying a space in our freezer. Nestled next to a tub of vanilla ice cream and a bag of corn, she rests peacefully wrapped in a dryer sheet. Each time I shift her aside to grab some ice, I contemplate how to honor her memory in a meaningful way.
The tragic discovery occurred one afternoon when my son spotted our feathered friend, Coco, lying still at the bottom of her cage. Her lifeless form wore an expression that is likely to linger in my children’s minds for years to come. While we can only speculate, it’s possible that our family cat may have caused her untimely demise. Only our dog witnessed the event, and she remains tight-lipped about it.
Since that somber day, we have relocated to a new home, and naturally, the frozen bird accompanied us. Now that we are somewhat settled, I feel it’s time to give Coco the farewell she deserves. Explaining to guests why we have a freezer-bound pet begins to feel increasingly absurd.
Finding a proper way to commemorate our family bird has proven to be challenging, especially with my penchant for dark humor. Yet, I understood that it was important to remind myself of the stages of grief before I proceeded with any plans. I also took the time to learn how children process the loss of a pet. I could hear the sorrow in my children’s voices as they recounted stories about Coco. I focused on showing empathy, realizing they were gaining the tools to cope with loss for when it inevitably arises again.
Next, I felt compelled to organize a grand “Celebration of Life” for Coco. My children needed closure, but honestly, I simply wanted to reclaim the space in my freezer. Initially, I considered hosting a Shiva, but with our furniture packed away, that proved impractical. I even consulted a local firefighter about staging a Viking funeral, only to be informed it was against the law. A more traditional ceremony was proposed, where I envisioned a friend delivering a heartfelt eulogy, but he suggested a humorous Monty Python quote instead. Finally, I thought about incorporating fireworks, but our HOA quickly shut that idea down.
Eventually, the moment arrived to lay Coco to rest. I insisted on having a gathering, which was easily arranged during our recent Super Bowl party. I just needed to find the right opportunity to gather everyone outside for a moment of reflection.
However, digging a hole in the winter ground using just a trowel proved to be a challenge, as did cutting through the previous owners’ weed control barrier in the garden. Time was of the essence, but a perceptive friend helped keep the mood light with a toast, while another hummed “Taps” in the background, and someone offered heartfelt words. Miraculously, we made it back inside just in time to refill our plates and enjoy the halftime show.
Without a doubt, my children will remember the memorial where we devoured chili, wings, and chips, while the adults sipped beer and cheered at the television. I felt a wave of relief when I noticed my daughter wipe away a few tears, only to jump back into the excitement of the game.
Recently, I succumbed to my children’s pleas for another parakeet while at the pet store. “Maxwell can never replace Coco,” I reassured them, although I think I was trying to convince myself more than anyone else. The experience of losing a pet was their first encounter with death, and they navigated it with a level of compassion and grace that left me teary-eyed during the ceremony.
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Summary:
The author recounts the experience of dealing with the death of a family parakeet named Coco, exploring the emotional journey of her children and the humorous struggles of planning a proper farewell. The narrative highlights the lessons learned about grief and coping, culminating in a memorable Super Bowl memorial.