During my childhood, one of my mother’s repeated phrases was, “I carried you for nine months, so you can do this one thing for me.” However, it was never just “one thing.” She used it so often that no matter how much I did, I felt perpetually indebted to her. For some, seemingly “innocuous” comments like this might appear trivial, but they can profoundly affect one’s mental health. In my case, it became a source of coercion and guilt, leaving lasting scars.
Many people have experienced “harmless” comments in their upbringing that stick with them long after they’ve grown up. We asked our mental health community to share similar remarks and their impact on their adult lives. It’s crucial to recognize that what seems “harmless” to one person may deeply wound another. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve support.
Here’s what our community had to say:
- “There are worse off people than you.”
“When I hear, ‘You should be grateful; others have it worse,’ it only adds guilt to my sadness.” — Jamie R.
“Knowing that others have it tougher doesn’t lessen my pain.” — Ava L. - “You’re just like your parent.”
“Being told I was like my mother, who was deemed ‘crazy,’ has haunted me for years.” — Sophie M.
“My father’s comparisons made me believe I was doomed to be toxic, just like him.” — Rachel S. - “You’re too young to feel that way.”
“Telling me I couldn’t possibly feel anxiety because of my age made me feel invisible.” — Eli P.
“There’s no age limit for emotions; I knew something was wrong even at 16.” — Mia T. - “You’re pretty for a bigger person.”
“I was often told, ‘You’re attractive for a big girl,’ which hurt my self-esteem.” — Linda N.
“Comments like ‘You’d be so much prettier if you lost weight’ still echo in my mind.” — Kelly H. - “Why can’t you be like your sibling?”
“Hearing ‘Why can’t you be like your brother?’ made me feel inadequate.” — Sarah G.
“Being compared to my siblings left me with a constant sense of unworthiness.” — Zoe F. - “I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.”
“This type of apology places blame on me for feeling hurt; it’s not an apology at all.” — Oliver J.
“When someone says, ‘I’m sorry if you’re hurt,’ it invalidates my feelings completely.” — Emma B. - “You need an attitude adjustment.”
“Hearing that phrase as a child often meant punishment was coming; it still triggers fear.” — Jake D.
“Being told to fix my face made me self-conscious about my expression.” — Lily C. - “You just need to try harder.”
“I have ADHD, and being told to ‘focus harder’ only added to my anxiety.” — Noah W.
“When my best isn’t seen as good enough, I start to doubt my worth.” — Ava L. - “Don’t be selfish.”
“Hearing, ‘You’re so selfish,’ taught me to ignore my own needs as an adult.” — Grace H.
“Being called selfish made me feel unworthy of happiness.” — Eli P. - “Are you sure you want that career?”
“When I expressed interest in being a doctor, my family’s doubts made me feel inadequate.” — Mia K.
“Comments like ‘You’d make a good librarian’ felt limiting.” — Sophie J. - “Everyone feels sad sometimes.”
“While I know everyone experiences sadness, it felt dismissive of my depression.” — Sarah K. - “Okay.”
“The simple word ‘okay’ often felt like my feelings were neglected.” — Oliver T. - “Life isn’t fair.”
“Hearing this from a teacher made me resentful and disillusioned.” — Emily R. - “It’s all in your head.”
“While my struggles are mental, they manifest physically; it isn’t just in my head.” — Char A. - “I’m disappointed in you.”
“Being told I was a disappointment felt worse than just being angry.” — Lindsay T. - “You were an accident.”
“Being reminded I was an accident leaves me questioning my existence.” — Brandi R. - “You won’t get a job without good grades.”
“This comment made me feel like I could never meet my parents’ expectations.” — Amy P. - “You’re embarrassing to be seen with.”
“My mother’s comments about my appearance led to severe anxiety about how others perceive me.” — Marissa Q. - “You don’t understand real struggle.”
“When my anxiety was dismissed, it made me feel like my pain wasn’t valid.” — Melissa D. - “We were fine before you came along.”
“Comments like that from my dad made me feel guilty for simply existing.” — Courtney A. - “You’re so shy.”
“Being labeled as shy only intensified my anxiety.” — Jenna L.
In summary, seemingly innocent remarks can have a lasting impact on mental health. It’s essential to be mindful of the words we use, as they can deeply affect others. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, check out this link. For authoritative resources on this topic, visit this page. Additionally, this podcast is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.