As a former educator, I’ve encountered my fair share of challenging behaviors in children. My teaching experience spans impoverished urban neighborhoods, an orphanage in rural India, and a predominantly affluent suburban area. Throughout this journey, I often pondered the environments these children came from, surmising that they must have chaotic homes filled with excessive screen time and little structure. Such assumptions stem from our intrinsic need to attribute blame or find understanding.
Now, as a parent to a spirited toddler, I find myself boldly declaring that my child can exhibit difficult behavior, and I refuse to feel ashamed about it. I strive to create a nurturing, stable environment for my little one. I’ve transitioned to being a stay-at-home parent, ensuring we maintain a predictable routine that includes various outings to play areas, even those teeming with germs. He attends daycare once a week and participates in a “Mom and Me” class, which fulfills both his social needs and my desire for a moment of peace. Our family dinners and bedtime rituals are designed to provide him with a loving and consistent atmosphere.
In our household, physical aggression is not tolerated. We do not hit, push, or slap. Yet, despite our best efforts, my toddler has learned to hit. The past few months have been particularly challenging, though I realize that it’s me who is struggling, not my two-year-old. He remains blissfully unaware of the impact of his actions on others. Each visit to a play area inevitably leads to him lashing out at another child. If you happen to be in his way, whether slowly descending a slide or claiming a blueberry he considers his, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a shove or a slap.
In the past, I would have immediately apologized to the parents of the children affected by my son’s actions. I would feel a rush of embarrassment, wondering what went wrong in my parenting. However, I’ve had a breakthrough, allowing me to embrace the reality that my child is simply developing as expected.
He is intelligent, energetic, and affectionate—yet he also hits. It’s time to accept that. He is not bad, mean, or naughty. He is a child learning to navigate a complex world, and at this stage, physical expressions are often easier for him than verbal ones. While I understand that hitting is unacceptable, I choose to address the behavior calmly and move forward, relinquishing the guilt that once consumed me.
I commit to nurturing my strong-willed and enthusiastic toddler. I will seize every opportunity to teach him alternative ways to express himself, encouraging him to use words and show empathy. I will no longer feel the weight of judgment or shame. It is my responsibility to be his greatest advocate and most loving teacher, a role I embrace wholeheartedly.
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In summary, embracing the reality of a toddler’s challenging behaviors can be liberating for parents. By focusing on teaching and understanding rather than guilt, we can support our children through their developmental journey.