Why I Stopped Discouraging My Child From Using Profanity

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Using strong language around your parents can feel incredibly inappropriate, especially when you’re just seven years old, like my son, Leo. He began expressing his frustrations with the word “f*ck” last year, and it all started when he lost his cool.

The First Incident

The first incident occurred during dinner. My father was with the kids, as usual, while I was busy serving spaghetti and meatballs. My 10-year-old daughter, Mia, mentioned to her older brother, Ethan, “Leo got his card flipped today.” I knew this was significant since it often resulted in a call from his teacher, and it usually meant trouble.

“F*ck you, Tattletale,” Leo exclaimed.

My father gasped, and Mia and Ethan burst into laughter. “What did you just say?” I shouted from the kitchen. Leo fell silent, his face reddening, teeth clenched, and tears brimming in his eyes.

Pointing towards his room, I said, “Stay there until you’re ready to apologize.” I heard the door slam, followed by the unmistakable sound of him yelling, “You’re all f*ckers!”

The Second Incident

The second instance occurred after school when Mia rushed in and devoured the last donut. I was in my office when I overheard Leo mutter, “You f*cker.”

“Excuse me?” I called out, sending him to his room. I followed closely behind, stating, “Such language is not allowed in this house.”

“But Ethan and Mia say it too,” he protested. I insisted I hadn’t heard them use such words.

Then he hit me with it, “Mommy, you say it.”

I paused, taken aback. He was right. I often use that word, albeit not intentionally around my children. When I lose my temper, it slips out: “Are you f*cking kidding me?” Or when I drop something, “F*ck!” And when I’m stuck in traffic, I unleash my frustration, yelling at other drivers, “What the f*ck are you thinking?!”

A Change in Approach

Lately, I’ve changed my approach with Leo. Instead of sending him to his room for swearing, I simply raise my eyebrows and shake my head—the same gesture he gives me.

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Conclusion

In summary, I realized that my reactions to Leo’s language were not only hypocritical but also ineffective. By rethinking my response, I hope to foster open communication and understanding in our family.