Reflecting on my journey with multiple sclerosis (MS), I feel compelled to share some insights with my unborn child. One evening, when your older brother was just a baby, I was out for a walk, pushing the stroller. Your father offered to take over, but I hesitated, fearing I might not be able to stand if I let go. After numerous tests and appointments, the diagnosis was confirmed: I have MS, and I was experiencing a significant flare-up.
Sitting in the doctor’s office, absorbing the results, I felt overwhelmed and thought, “This is serious.” The gravity of this situation hit me hard. My mind went to a family friend of my mother’s who relies on a wheelchair. The life I envisioned for us suddenly felt unattainable. The prospect of having another child seemed impossible. A neurologist even cautioned me against pregnancy, stating it would worsen my prognosis. At that moment, I wished for a different diagnosis, perhaps a brain tumor that would provide a clear and definitive outcome.
However, my understanding of MS has evolved. It turns out, my life with MS is not as dire as I initially believed. Now, a year and a half later, I find myself healthier than ever, and with the encouragement of my new neurologist and OB-GYN, I’m filled with hope as I carry you.
Embracing Uncertainty
As we embark on this journey together, I want you to know that while challenges may arise, we’re ready to face them head-on. Embracing uncertainty is essential. We can’t predict how my condition will progress—I may face significant challenges in the future, including loss of sight or mobility. However, I also hope that this experience will instill in you a deep sense of compassion and resilience that comes from navigating adversity.
Life’s unpredictability is something we all share. We are fortunate to recognize this truth. I’ve learned to focus on what we can control and appreciate the certainties in our lives. For instance, your older brother, though just two and a half, possesses a remarkable wisdom and enthusiasm that will guide you. Your father is incredibly supportive and humorous, and together, we are a strong team, committed to navigating any uncertainties with determination and laughter. We’re dedicated to providing you with the best life possible.
Seizing Opportunities
Additionally, we must seize opportunities while we can. Though I’ve never enjoyed running, I trained for a 5K, recognizing the importance of being active while I can. Unlike other mothers who may take their ability to stand for granted, I cherish every moment. This means embracing life to the fullest—whether that’s swimming at the YMCA early in the morning or helping our elderly neighbor with yard work. Rest assured, we are not a family that sits idly.
Advocating for a Cure
In this fight against MS, we must also pursue a cure. When I was diagnosed in 2016, knowledge about MS was limited. It’s believed to stem from a combination of genetic factors, environmental influences, and possibly a virus. The mystery of why I developed this condition remains unsolved. The urgency for research and awareness is clear, and we must advocate for more funding and breakthroughs. It’s imperative that you and your brother grow up as advocates, working to combat this disease.
I am hopeful that by the time you read this, MS will have had little to no effect on your life. If that’s not the case, always remember how deeply loved you are. Your brother and you are my motivation to stay healthy. Our family embodies resilience and positivity, and I will instill these values in you. MS does not define me, and I am committed to ensuring it does not define your life either. Together, we will thrive. I love you endlessly.
Resources for Further Information
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, consider visiting Mount Sinai’s resources or check out intracervical insemination for insights. If you’re interested in the process itself, Make a Mom provides great resources on at-home insemination kits.
Conclusion
In summary, MS has shaped my experiences and perspectives as I prepare to welcome you into the world. Despite the uncertainties, our family is committed to living life to the fullest and advocating for a future free from this disease.