In recent weeks, I’ve found myself navigating some rather uncomfortable situations where the correct course of action wasn’t entirely clear.
In one instance, my child suffered an injury inflicted by a friend’s child—specifically, being struck in the head with a rock. Should I intervene? It was an accident, and I could tell the other child was remorseful. Ultimately, I opted not to say anything.
In another scenario, I learned about the teenage offspring of a casual acquaintance engaging in behaviors that are detrimental and illegal. If it were my own child, I would be devastated to discover such actions. What should I do? Should I speak up or remain uninvolved?
If I were on the receiving end of either situation, I would definitely want to be informed. I suspect many parents find themselves in these dilemmas, unsure of whether to voice their concerns.
Let me be clear: if my child throws a rock and injures yours, please let me know—accident or not. If my child communicates with you in a disrespectful manner, I want to be made aware. If they are experimenting with drugs, I expect you to inform me. Should you find my child in a location where they likely don’t have permission, I want you to tell me. If you hear rumors about my child using substances, even if you’re unsure of their truth, please share that information.
If you suspect my child might have overindulged at a party, I want to know. If you catch them lying to me about anything, please tell me. If my child is bullying, or simply acting like a general nuisance, I want to hear about it.
If you discover that my child is engaging in sexual activity, I would appreciate your honesty. If my child is using inappropriate language around others, I want you to bring it to my attention. If you ever find out that my spouse is unfaithful (hypothetically, of course), please do me the courtesy of letting me know.
Likewise, if I have an unsightly booger in my nose or if it’s apparent to everyone but me that I’ve started my period, I want you to speak up. If one of my children is expecting, I need to know. If you notice an alarming hair protruding from my neck or chin, please notify me.
If my child associates with individuals who have troubling backgrounds—be it drug addicts, dealers, or anyone significantly older than them—I want to be informed. If my child is engaging in questionable online activities, please bring it to my attention. If my zipper is down, my mascara is running, or my skirt is tucked into my underwear, I want you to say something.
And if you’re uncertain about whether to tell me something that doesn’t fit neatly into these categories, I want you to share it anyway. If you want to bring any of these concerns to my attention but don’t know how to start, just say, “Remember when you said you wanted to know if your kid was being a problem? Well…”
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In summary, open communication is key. I want to be kept in the loop regarding my child’s behavior and well-being, as it ultimately shapes their future.