My Toddler Hits, And I’m Finished Apologizing

My Toddler Hits, And I'm Finished Apologizingself insemination kit

As a parent, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges that come with raising a toddler. I’ve spent years as an educator, engaging with children from various backgrounds, including those in underprivileged urban areas, an orphanage in rural India, and suburban schools. I encountered students dealing with numerous behavioral issues—following directions, impulsivity, and even aggression. Over time, I often wondered about their home lives, drawing conclusions that they might be neglected or overly reliant on screens. It’s a natural tendency to seek understanding or assign blame for certain behaviors.

Now, as a mother navigating the trials of parenting a toddler, I find myself wanting to declare that my child can certainly be a handful, and I refuse to feel guilty about it anymore.

I strive to create a supportive and structured environment for my son. Currently, I stay at home, ensuring he has a consistent routine filled with outings to various play areas. He attends daycare once a week and we participate in a “Mom and Me” class, which satisfies his social needs as well as mine for a little peace. We enjoy family dinners and have a bedtime routine in place, aiming to cultivate a loving and predictable atmosphere.

At home, we don’t endorse hitting or pushing. Yet, despite all these efforts, my son has still picked up some less-than-ideal behaviors. Recently, I’ve faced the reality that our outings often end up with him unintentionally hurting another child. If you’re in his way, whether it’s taking too long on the slide or snagging a stray blueberry from the floor, he may resort to shoving or slapping.

Previously, I would have immediately apologized to the parents of the children he affected, feeling embarrassed and helpless. But I’ve recently had an important realization: my son is simply a typical toddler exploring his world.

He is smart, energetic, affectionate—and yes, he hits. So what? He is not bad, nor mean or naughty. He is learning, and at this stage, using his hands can be an easier form of expression than words. While hitting is never acceptable, I’ve decided to calmly address each incident and move on, no longer feeling like I need to question my parenting choices.

Instead, I choose to embrace my spirited, eager toddler. I will use these moments to guide him toward better ways to express himself, teaching him alternatives to hitting and the importance of kindness. I refuse to feel guilt or shame—I am committed to being his biggest supporter and a loving guide through this phase of his development.

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In summary, parenting a toddler can be challenging, especially when faced with behaviors like hitting. By fostering a nurturing environment and teaching appropriate ways to express emotions, we can guide our children through these developmental stages without succumbing to guilt or embarrassment.