To you, the mom with weary eyes, unkempt hair, and the remnants of tears on your cheeks. You, who have experienced countless days without a shower, and who finds herself wondering at 4:00 p.m. how it’s possible to skip lunch. I assure you, you will get through this challenging phase, and things will improve.
Take it Step by Step
You are incredibly resilient. As a single mother of a newborn, you’ve been through sleepless nights—yes, entire nights without rest. You’ve witnessed the sun rise and set, often questioning, perhaps even Googling, “How long can a person survive without sleep?”
I understand the urge to shout, even at your baby. It’s a feeling I share. Those fleeting moments in the shower often turn into tears rather than a cleansing ritual. It’s a strange comfort to cry under the water, isn’t it? Yet, before you know it, you’re back to the whirlwind of motherhood, as if you never escaped.
You Are Strong
You are strong beyond measure. As the single mom of a newborn, you may feel unattractive, with days or even weeks passing without doing your hair. Your nails are likely chipped from that quick polish you tried in a bid to feel better, but it didn’t quite do the trick. Your clothes might be stained, and you often don’t notice until an errand pulls you outside.
Your nursing bras may not provide the support your chapped breasts need, leaving you feeling foreign in your own body. Comfort becomes your priority, and you might find yourself living in t-shirts and old yoga pants.
Yet, you are stunning. You are the single mom of a newborn. You may have a little one wanting your attention, feeling as if she has been relegated to the sidelines. You often lose your patience and question whether giving her a sibling was a wise decision. “Will she resent me later?” You feel her presence, yet the loneliness can be overwhelming. You wonder if you are a good mom… I often question the same.
You Are an Incredible Mother
You are indeed an amazing mom. Acceptance of help is difficult. You might think, “I don’t need assistance; I can manage this myself.” When offers of help come in, you often respond with, “I’m fine, really.” Guilt and embarrassment linger because deep down, you know you’re struggling.
You might feel that your choice to be a single mother is the reason behind your current challenges, but that’s not true. The guilt of being a single mom is all too real. You’ve learned that advice like “nap when your baby naps” doesn’t apply to you, as you juggle tasks that seem never-ending.
You are so cherished. You are the mother who sacrifices sleep just to gaze at your precious baby for hours. You sing lullabies to soothe her and nurse her gently to sleep. You carry her despite the aches in your back, and your phone is filled with countless pictures and videos, all captured within a week of her arrival.
Your children are well taken care of—always fed, clean, and dressed—while you remain in your pajamas. You know that self-care is a luxury you cannot afford right now, so you share any spare moments with your other child. You delay placing your baby in her crib for just one more minute, cherishing the warmth of holding her.
You Will Get Through This
Mama, you will endure. One day, you’ll look back and say, “I did it. I navigated the newborn phase as a single mom. It was tough, but I made it.” You’ll realize not only did you survive, but you also thrived in many ways. Time will fly, and you’ll wonder where your tiny baby has gone. There may come a moment when you need to clear space for bigger clothes, and you’ll hesitate to part with those newborn outfits.
I made it. A year later, I still can’t believe I managed it all, raising a newborn and a spirited 6-year-old. They are both happy and thriving. I may not be thriving, but I’m present for them, and that’s what truly matters.
I still deal with messy nails, dark circles, and tear-stained cheeks. Yes, I still cry weekly; it’s hard. But just last weekend, I wore a dress and I’m looking forward to a delicious dinner outside my home soon. Maybe I’ll even manage to wash my hair this week. Perhaps one day, I’ll treat myself to that long-desired manicure.
Baby steps…
You’ve survived. You are the single mom of a toddler.
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Summary:
This article offers encouragement to single mothers of newborns, emphasizing their resilience and strength. It discusses the challenges they face, including feelings of inadequacy, the struggle to accept help, and the joy of bonding with their children. The piece ultimately reassures mothers that they will survive this phase and emerge stronger, while also sharing valuable resources for those interested in pregnancy and home insemination.