I was around 13 or 14 the first time I explored self-pleasure. At that age, I didn’t fully grasp what I was doing. I had a vague understanding that it involved touching myself to experience pleasure and reach orgasm, but the specifics eluded me. I had heard the terms but lacked true comprehension.
After a chat with a friend, I became curious and decided to give it a try. One night, I quietly left my bedroom and made my way to the living room, covering myself with a large blanket as I settled onto the couch. Once I was sure everyone was asleep, I turned on the television and tuned into the scrambled Spice Network—a nostalgic way to access adult content for those who remember.
Initially, it felt awkward. My underwear was uncomfortable against my body, and I struggled to navigate my own anatomy, unsure whether to explore externally or internally. But then something shifted. The sensations transformed from awkward to pleasurable.
I felt warmth spread through my body, my heart raced, and the area between my legs began to tingle. An electric feeling coursed through me until I reached my peak.
What began as a curiosity has turned into a regular part of my life, not just because I can, but because I genuinely enjoy it. Masturbation helps me feel calm and centered amidst the chaos of motherhood.
Despite its numerous benefits, there remains a significant stigma surrounding masturbation, particularly for women. Many view it as something shameful or inappropriate, often associating the act solely with sex workers or adult film stars. Some religious teachings even label it as sinful, perpetuating the idea that it’s a dirty act committed by women who stray from societal norms. Historically, many believed that women were devoid of sexual desire, which is truly absurd.
This stigma is deeply rooted in societal and cultural attitudes. While films often depict male masturbation humorously, female experiences are rarely represented. This absence is striking, as I can easily list countless movies that feature male self-pleasure but only a handful that portray women in a similar light.
The conversation around female pleasure begins at a very young age. Society teaches girls to be sweet, modest, and compliant, which often extends into their sexual lives. From early childhood, when children are caught exploring their bodies, they are often met with disapproval, leading them to internalize feelings of shame.
Additionally, there’s a language barrier. Men have a plethora of euphemisms for masturbation, while women have limited options, often described in unappealing terms. This lack of language contributes to the silence around female self-pleasure.
However, most women engage in masturbation; studies show that 92% have touched themselves. So how do we dismantle this shame? By continuing the practice if it brings us joy and fostering open dialogue with friends, family, and peers. There’s nothing wrong with knowing your body, loving yourself, or enjoying your own touch. Masturbation is a natural and beautiful expression of self-awareness.
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Summary
Masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality, yet it remains stigmatized, particularly for women. Despite societal pressures and cultural taboos, many women engage in self-pleasure, highlighting the need for open conversations about female sexuality. Embracing self-exploration can lead to greater self-awareness and empowerment.