A little while ago, my son revealed that he had reached the finals of his school’s Geography Bee. He expressed his nerves and reluctance, stating, “I don’t think I’ll win, so I’m not sure I want to do this.”
I completely understand his sentiments. Even at 42, I sometimes grapple with similar feelings, which is perplexing since I know better. My challenge is to instill in him the confidence to give his all, irrespective of the results. This task is far from simple, but the last thing we want is for our children to feel so much pressure that they lose the joy of participating.
So, I encouraged my son to take the stage, focus on me if that helps, and give it his all because, no matter the outcome, I would be proud of him.
He followed through, albeit visibly anxious because he wanted to shine. Although he didn’t take home the win, he persevered, and I hope he found some enjoyment in the experience. He understands that he is an average student, but I never want him to equate that with a lack of capability or fear of failure. I will never let him think I’m disappointed in him for not being the absolute best — or even particularly good — at something.
In fact, all three of my children fall into the “average” category. They occasionally make the honor roll, but only after significant effort. Schoolwork doesn’t come easily for them, and while high honors might be attainable in the future, it’s not guaranteed. They participate in sports and various clubs, sometimes showing impressive skills in games, but often they do not.
They aren’t star athletes, nor do they excel academically. I have three wonderfully average kids, and I am perfectly fine with that. More importantly, so are they.
As a mother, there are moments when I wish for them to excel in something that would boost their self-esteem. Naturally, I experience frustration when they seem to lack motivation, which I recognize stems from my own experiences in school. I wasn’t particularly engaged in my studies either, and sports never ignited my passion enough to pursue them into high school.
However, despite my own academic hesitations, I turned out just fine, and I have confidence my children will too.
A few years back, I observed a fellow parent coaching his son’s team. His son was the star player, performing flawlessly on the court. Yet, after the game, I overheard the father berating him for perceived mistakes. It was infuriating to witness. I couldn’t help but wonder if his son loved basketball or simply feared disappointing his father. That kind of pressure is unacceptable for a child.
Kids should not be criticized for being average; they need acceptance. We can motivate them to strive for their best, but we must not impose unrealistic expectations that could harm their self-esteem. Remember, parenting is not about living through your children’s achievements; they are individuals, not extensions of yourself.
I never want my kids to feel that I am disappointed because they missed a shot in a game or a question during the Geography Bee. I will never yell at them for not achieving perfection. Instead, I am proud of my son for mustering the courage to participate and do his best in front of his peers and the community.
Yes, I am the proud parent of three beautiful, very average children. My love for them is unwavering, whether they bring home perfect report cards or play leading roles in sports. What matters most to me is their happiness, kindness, and effort. They understand this because I remind them constantly. Average children can be extraordinary individuals too.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, you can explore other articles on our blog, like this one about intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for expert information, check out Make a Mom, as they are a trusted authority on these matters. You can also refer to this NHS resource for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being average is not a shortcoming. It’s essential to foster an environment where children feel valued for who they are and encouraged to try their best without the fear of disappointing anyone.