When you step into the role of parent, you encounter numerous unexpected experiences. These range from the amusing—like using baby wipes as a makeshift makeup remover after a long night—to the more serious moments that challenge your beliefs and values. If you have a child with special needs, those moments can take on a different meaning entirely.
Today marked a significant milestone for me. My daughter, who is 15 and has severe autism, attends a small rural high school. Overall, she has had a positive experience there. The teachers are supportive, she has a dedicated aide by her side, and she participates in various school activities to the best of her abilities. Generally, she appears content and engaged in her environment.
However, recent events in our society led me to a heart-wrenching decision: I had to write a letter granting the school permission to physically restrain her if necessary. The reality is stark; we live in a country where gun violence in schools is an ongoing concern. With the increasing frequency of school shootings, I found myself contemplating the safety measures in place for students like my daughter. In the event of a crisis, what would happen to her?
I spoke with her teacher, the assistant principal, and even the principal, all of whom assured me they would act in her best interests. Yet, I realized that the nature of her condition makes it nearly impossible for anyone to keep her calm and quiet in a frightening situation. So, I made the difficult choice to put my thoughts into writing. I explicitly authorized the school to restrain her if it meant protecting her from potential harm during an emergency. I even stated that I understood such actions could lead to physical injuries, and I would not hold the school accountable.
In essence, I was asking them to hurt my child as a means of safeguarding her from a far greater threat. It was a decision rooted in desperation and love, hoping to shield her from the horrors of a world influenced by corruption and negligence.
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In summary, the experience of parenting a child with special needs is fraught with challenges that often push you to your limits. Today, I faced the gut-wrenching reality of making a decision that I had never thought I would ever consider.