Dear Future Daughter-in-Law,
Navigating the relationship with your mother-in-law can be tricky. While I strive to follow the advice given to mothers-in-law, it’s vital that you also adhere to some helpful guidelines to foster a harmonious relationship between us. Here are ten essential tips to consider:
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Clarify Your Invitation
When you say I’m “welcome any time,” please mean it. If visiting requires an appointment, let me know. I didn’t expect to need to schedule time to see my own child and grandchildren. I understand that unannounced visits can be intrusive, but you often seem unavailable when I call. -
Pick Up the Phone
I am not a telemarketer; I’m your spouse’s mother and the grandmother of your children. A simple acknowledgment of my call, even if it’s just to say you’re busy, would mean a lot. -
Respect My Time
While I love my grandchildren dearly, I also have my own commitments. If you need childcare, please ask in advance. Just as you appreciate your time being respected, I would appreciate the same courtesy. -
Communicate Openly
If you have concerns about our relationship, please talk to me directly rather than venting to others. It’s not fair for my child to be caught in the middle of misunderstandings. -
Avoid Passive-Aggressiveness
Complimenting my home while criticizing your own isn’t constructive. My clean house doesn’t reflect poorly on your housekeeping. Let’s keep our discussions positive. -
Choose Thoughtful Gifts
When gifting me, please consider my style. If it’s a far cry from what I own, I might struggle to appreciate it fully. Gift cards or handmade items from the kids are always welcome. -
Allow Me to Spend My Money
If I choose to spoil my grandchildren, it’s out of love and the ability to do so. My generosity is not a measure of your parenting or finances. -
Remember My Role
I want my child to be happy in their marriage, but I will always be their mother. Should circumstances change, I will be here to support them. -
Acknowledge My Contributions
I raised a wonderful person, and you chose to build a family with them. While I may not be up to date with the latest parenting trends, my experience is valuable. Please consider my perspective on occasion. -
No Control Intended
I may have my opinions, but rest assured, I’m not trying to control your life. I simply want what’s best for my son and grandchildren. Your spouse is part of a larger family network, and sharing is essential.
How about I take care of the kids this weekend so you can enjoy a night out? Just promise me that I won’t be the topic of your evening discussions.
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In summary, a little mutual respect and open communication can go a long way in creating a positive relationship.