The Television’s Mine and Other Reasons I’m Grateful for My Single Life

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Recently, as I was departing a work function, a young girl selling handmade jewelry approached me. She explained that her creations were meant to help her mom with a phone bill. Feeling generous and moved by her story, I selected a bracelet that caught my eye and handed her some cash, instructing her to keep the change.

The blue knotted bracelet now resides on my wrist, proudly displaying the word “FREE.” I chose this piece as a daily reminder that I no longer have to answer to anyone. After years in a relationship, this symbol is helping me shed old habits and transform my mindset. It’s a comforting sight each morning when I wake.

Going through a divorce is undeniably challenging. Life has become more complex as I navigate parenthood largely on my own. However, there are many advantages to being single. Here are 21 reasons why I am grateful for my independence:

1. I Decide Everything. In my marriage, I often deferred to my ex-husband’s preferences, from dinner choices to household chores. Now, I am reclaiming my autonomy and making decisions freely.
2. I Eat What I Want, When I Want. Though he introduced me to various new cuisines, it often meant sacrificing my favorites. Now I can indulge in Ben & Jerry’s at midnight without a second thought.
3. My Finances Are My Own. I no longer worry about overspending in places like Costco. I manage my expenses, ensuring my hard-earned money is used wisely.
4. No More Waiting Up Late. While loneliness can creep in, I no longer feel frustrated by uncertainty about when he’ll return. I find peace in knowing there’s less to worry about.
5. No More Cleaning Up After Him. Balancing full-time work and parenting is tough enough without additional mess. I enjoy a clutter-free environment, and I miss wearing his socks less than I expected.
6. I Make My Own Plans. My limited free time is mine to enjoy without considering anyone else’s schedule.
7. I Don’t Need Approval. I tried hard to meet my spouse’s expectations, often feeling inadequate. Now, my self-worth is based solely on my own standards.
8. I Choose My Wardrobe. I dress for myself now, buying what I like—though my budget is tighter these days.
9. No Criticism to Deal With. When I make mistakes, I acknowledge them without the added pressure of someone pointing out my flaws.
10. More Space at Home. I appreciate having my own space in the closet, the dresser, and even in bed. Sleeping solo is surprisingly enjoyable.
11. The Television Is Mine. After the kids are asleep, I get to watch what I want.
12. Holidays Are More Enjoyable. Depending on where the kids are, I can either celebrate with family or take a break from the festivities.
13. I Control My Pace. As someone who values punctuality, I no longer wait for others who don’t share that mindset.
14. I Can Explore New Relationships. I have the freedom to flirt and date, though I find the idea of marriage less appealing now.
15. I Set Bedtime. I relish being able to relax when the kids go to sleep, without distractions from a partner’s late-night phone usage.
16. I Can Truly Relax. Being single brings a level of stress relief that I didn’t realize I needed.
17. My Opinions Matter Most. The absence of arguments contributes to a more peaceful life.
18. I Can Pursue My Passions. I am free to write, paint, and dream big again, and I believe in my own potential.
19. No More Excuses for Anyone Else. We’re no longer a team, and while I remain respectful, I am not obligated to defend anyone.
20. I’m in Control of the Wheel. Gone are the days of white-knuckle rides as a passenger; I drive now.
21. I Shape My Future. I don’t regret my marriage; it resulted in three wonderful children. They are my world, and I’m excited for our future.

For too long, I compromised my identity. Now, post-divorce, I embrace my freedom, and that bracelet serves as a reminder to never lose sight of it again.

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Summary:

In a reflective piece, Clara Thompson shares her journey post-divorce, highlighting 21 reasons why she cherishes her single life. From making her own decisions to enjoying personal space, she emphasizes the newfound freedom and control over her life that comes with independence. Through her experiences, she offers insights into the emotional relief and opportunities that arise when one embraces solitude.