The other night, my partner kept sending messages like “on my way” and “almost home” until it was nearly 7 PM when he finally walked through the door. Exhaustion enveloped me—whether it was my fatigue, the kids’ restlessness, or perhaps the influence of the lunar cycle, I can’t say. But by the time he arrived, I was ready to escape.
I often find myself at the brink of my patience. The journey of parenting young children oscillates between breathtakingly beautiful and overwhelmingly chaotic in mere moments. My temperament tends to swing dramatically; the heights of joy quickly plummet into depths of frustration, often within a single minute.
Just the other day, I watched my children play together on the upper bunk in my son’s room. They were nestled together, surrounded by stuffed animals and blankets, laughing and tumbling like excited puppies. My son had his little sister in fits of giggles, and she returned the favor with playful tickles. In that instant, pride filled my heart as I basked in the joy of nurturing such healthy, vibrant kids. Everything felt perfect.
But then, in a blink, the mood shifted. The laughter turned into wails, giggles morphed into cries, and tender moments became chaotic pushes and grabs. Toys scattered across the room, and my heart raced as I rushed to intervene before anyone fell. Both kids were sobbing, and to them, it was the end of the world. It was one of those instances when I seriously considered throwing in the towel.
As a child, if something became challenging, my instinct was to quit. I walked away from competitive swimming, gymnastics, and various art classes because I never excelled. My worldview was simple: pursue only what was enjoyable and easy. This mindset worked well when I was only responsible for myself, and even when my partner entered the picture, it largely sufficed.
However, the years following my transition into motherhood have been the most challenging of my life. I can hardly fathom how I survived those early years of relentless sleep deprivation. The fierce love I have for my children—first my son, and then three years later, my daughter—has taught me that just because something is incredibly tough doesn’t mean it lacks value. The precious little beings I’ve nurtured, who have shared moments of joy and tears with me, are my greatest treasures.
I’ve come to realize that the desire to quit is entirely normal; anyone who claims parenthood is a picture of blissful perfection is misleading you. Parenting young children resembles an unending ride on a ferris wheel, with no operator present to pause it when you need a moment to breathe. All we can do is cherish those high moments and memories, no matter how fleeting they may be. We should soak in the warmth of our son’s soft cheeks, trace our daughter’s dimples with our fingers, and hold her tiny feet in our hands.
By preserving these joyful memories, we can summon them during the tumultuous days when chaos reigns, and the ferris wheel of parenting feels like it’s scraping the ground once again.
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Summary
Parenting can be a rollercoaster of emotions, often leading to feelings of wanting to give up. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings while also cherishing the beautiful moments that make it all worthwhile. Balancing the highs and lows of parenting is essential, and holding onto joyful memories can provide comfort during the challenging times.