If you could peek inside my womb, it would likely be painted in shades of blue and sport a beard. Why? Because this baby-making factory is exclusively churning out boys. This revelation has felt like a cosmic joke, especially since I was once a quintessential girly-girl. I loved makeup, cute shoes, and fruity cocktails over whiskey shots. The thought of dirt and bugs made my skin crawl.
However, being a mother to boys—whether it’s one or several—inevitably transforms you. While you don’t have to abandon your feminine preferences (in fact, clinging to them might be more important than ever), raising boys comes with a unique set of challenges that require adaptation. So, if you’re expecting a baby boy, know someone who is, or have a young son still in baby mode, here’s a compilation of essential insights for navigating the journey of boyhood. You’re welcome!
1. Embrace Bath Time.
When I say “bath time,” I don’t mean your personal relaxation session in a luxurious bath. You need to be ready to give frequent baths, as boys generate a lot of dirt and grime. Expect splashes, a wet-dog scent, and a flooded bathroom. Just when they start showering independently, the wet-dog aroma will still linger, especially if you forget to remind them to use soap—everywhere! (P.S. — skip the pricey body wash.)
2. Find Farts Amusing.
Thank goodness I was born with a sense of humor about bodily functions. Boys find farts hilarious, and your response can greatly influence your stress levels. Laughing with them fosters a lighter atmosphere, while trying to suppress their giggles can escalate the situation. Just gently guide them on when and where it’s appropriate to let one rip (like definitely not during church or at a restaurant).
3. Prepare for Continuous Toilet Battles.
From the moment I discovered I was having a boy, I was determined to teach him proper toilet etiquette—like putting the seat down. Despite my best efforts, there’s always a new issue. One remembers to put the seat down but forgets to flush. Another flushes but leaves the lid up. And they all seem to forget to aim! I’m constantly reminding them, and yet I’m the one stuck cleaning up. Keeping a tidy bathroom with boys around is nothing short of exhausting!
4. Rethink Your Safety Standards.
Let’s be clear; I’m not advocating for reckless behavior. However, the level of caution you might have with a daughter cannot apply to boys. They are naturally adventurous—jumping, climbing, and tackling all day long. They might taste dirt or pick up random items off the ground just out of curiosity. With multiple boys, the chaos intensifies as they wrestle and engage in all sorts of rough play. Stock up on Band-Aids and learn to look the other way to maintain your sanity.
5. Expect Drama.
I often hear, “You’re so lucky—boys are less dramatic than girls.” Really? My boys are drama kings, complete with stomping, eye-rolling, and epic meltdowns. Their outbursts can be over seemingly trivial matters, like a video game character’s role or a burping contest gone awry. Never let anyone convince you that boys are drama-free. They can be just as emotional, if not more so!
6. Get Ready for Messes.
My house can quickly devolve into chaos. Boys have a talent for dragging in dirt, leaving food spills, and creating general disarray. Despite my constant reminders, they seem oblivious to the mess they create. This chaos only multiplies when friends come over. Expect to spend a significant portion of your day cleaning up after their shenanigans.
7. Stock Up on Food.
I was naive, thinking my little ones wouldn’t eat much. Then they hit a growth spurt and suddenly, I’m left in shock at how quickly they devour meals. My fridge feels like a revolving door, opening every few minutes for snacks. We spend a fortune at the grocery store, only to find it emptied in no time. Feeding these little locusts is an ongoing battle, and it’ll only get more intense as they grow into teenagers!
8. Prepare for a Jeans Graveyard.
After having four boys, I’m still amazed at how quickly they destroy denim. I always thought of it as tough fabric, but it doesn’t stand a chance against little boys’ antics.
9. Be Comfortable with Nudity.
While my boys may ruin their jeans, they often prefer to be without any clothing at home. The moment they walk through the door, off come their clothes. They’ll lounge around in their underwear or sometimes go full commando.
10. Accept “The Grab.”
Let’s talk about the male anatomy. Boys will grab their bits at every opportunity. From infancy, they instinctively reach for it, and this behavior doesn’t stop as they grow. Whether in the bathtub or lounging on the couch, you’ll hear yourself uttering phrases like, “Stop using your fork as a toy.” This behavior becomes so routine that eventually, it might not even faze you.
In conclusion, raising boys presents unique challenges, but it also brings immense joy and laughter. From the messes to the giggles, every moment is a part of the adventure. For more fantastic insights on parenting and pregnancy, check out this resource and this informative post. And for those interested in artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic.