What I Wish for New Black Mothers

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Menu: Lifestyle

By: J. Adams
Updated: April 21, 2020
Originally Published: April 5, 2018

In the past year, several friends of mine have embarked on the journey of motherhood, many of them becoming first-time Black moms. While I celebrated their new beginnings with heartfelt congratulations and a warm “Welcome to the club,” I also felt a wave of concern. The experience of Black motherhood is filled with its own distinct triumphs and challenges, yet few are prepared for the hurdles that often arise during and immediately after childbirth.

Dear new Black mothers, I want to uplift you and share insights into some of the hurdles uniquely associated with Black motherhood. Here are four crucial points to consider as you navigate this transformative experience.

Prioritize Your Health

Welcoming your little one is just the beginning — the real work lies ahead. Statistics show that Black mothers and infants face the highest mortality rates shortly after birth, underscoring the need for Black mothers to prioritize their overall health — mental, physical, and spiritual. Unfortunately, systemic racism can often hinder access to quality healthcare.

Engaging in regular exercise can serve as an effective means of self-care, and enhancing your diet with proper nutrition and hydration is vital. If you’re considering breastfeeding, know that it offers numerous benefits for both you and your baby. If you are the first in your family to embrace any of these practices, be prepared for potential pushback. However, sometimes breaking from tradition is necessary for your well-being.

Reassess Traditions

Black Americans have cultivated their own unique traditions despite the loss of connections to their ancestral roots. As a parent, it is essential to discern which customs are beneficial and which might need to be left behind.

Societal narratives often emphasize strict, authoritarian parenting in Black culture. However, if you find value in more nurturing approaches like attachment parenting, don’t let others criticize your choices. Our children require active engagement and unconditional love rather than just tough love. Remember, while many will have opinions, you ultimately have the power to decide how to raise your child.

Be Ready to Advocate for Your Child

Black children are born into a world filled with risk. From the potential for premature births to challenges in education and health, they often face a lack of presumed innocence that can impact their experiences.

As a Black mother, you’ll need to be prepared to advocate for your child. This doesn’t mean assuming your child is flawless; rather, it means understanding their normal developmental behaviors and standing up for them when necessary. This advocacy may occur in various spaces—whether at school, on the playground, or even among family members. Show your child that you are committed to countering stereotypes and limitations placed on them.

Seek Support and Build Community

Navigating motherhood can be overwhelming and may take a toll on your mental well-being. It’s crucial for Black mothers to establish a supportive network. While your support may not always be in close proximity, it should be easily accessible. Online platforms and communities can help connect you with others who share similar experiences.

At times, professional assistance may be necessary to address postpartum depression, anxiety, or the cumulative effects of navigating life as a Black individual in America, often referred to as toxic stress. Be vigilant for signs like persistent sadness, disinterest in activities, and irritability. Seeking help is a vital step in your journey to being the best parent you can be. While there may be stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community, breaking down these barriers is essential.

Black motherhood is a journey filled with lessons, highs, and profound lows. The pressures of parenting in a society influenced by racism and sexism can be overwhelming. Remember that as a Black mother, you carry a legacy of resilience and survival. Now, embrace your role and cherish every moment with your baby.

For additional insights on home insemination and motherhood, check out this article and learn from Make a Mom about their expertise in this area. Also, for valuable resources related to pregnancy, the Johns Hopkins Fertility Center offers great information.

Summary

New Black mothers face a unique set of challenges that require careful navigation. From prioritizing health to reassessing traditions, advocating for their children, and seeking community support, these mothers must embrace a journey filled with resilience and love. The legacy of perseverance is strong, and as they embark on this beautiful path, it’s essential to cherish each moment with their new bundles of joy.