In our complex world, we often find ourselves categorizing feelings, relationships, and roles. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you a parent? These labels help people make sense of their surroundings, which is understandable. However, in the realm of step-parenting, these labels can become quite tangled, often leading to discomfort for everyone involved.
As a stepmother, I’ve embraced a straightforward approach. I don’t require my stepson, Alex, to call me anything other than my name, which is Sarah. He is aware that he is not obligated to refer to me as “mom” or even “stepmom” if he prefers not to. I’m simply Sarah.
The absence of a specific title does not diminish my role or the contributions I’ve made over the years. I am the one who has been there, listening and learning how to best support Alex when he needs it. Some days, my involvement might be minimal, while on others, I may need to compensate for what’s lacking in his life. At times, we simply enjoy each other’s company as companions.
I don’t require the title of “mom” to perform acts of care, such as soothing him when he’s unwell or preparing his lunch for school. My instincts tell me when something is amiss, and my pride swells with each of his achievements, regardless of what I am called. A title will never alter my commitment or my personal growth. I continue to learn, adapt, and stand back up when faced with challenges, regardless of what name I go by.
People will always feel the need to label and judge others. That’s part of human nature. Yet, there is one individual who understands that he doesn’t need to call me by a specific name for me to feel loved and validated—my stepson. He recognizes that I can fulfill my own sense of identity without the need for a special title.
The journey of childhood is about growth and exploration. My role, whether termed stepmother, guardian, or bonus mom, has been to nurture, support, and educate Alex. One day, he will forge his own path, equipped with the wings he has developed, but he will always know that my support will be there, like the wind beneath him, whenever he seeks it.
He will understand that my love is unconditional, and he never needed to call me “mom” for that bond to endure.
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Summary
The relationship between a step-parent and a stepchild can thrive without the necessity of labels like “mom.” As a stepmother, Sarah emphasizes that her dedication and love for her stepson, Alex, are not contingent upon a title. Instead, her role is to support, nurture, and guide him through his journey, reinforcing that true connection goes beyond names.