April 7, 2023
Image Credit: Juzant / Getty Images
Perfection isn’t inherently bad. In fact, who doesn’t appreciate the beautifully renovated homes seen on shows like “Home Transformations”? The best part is witnessing the skillfully arranged decor, stunning fixtures, and cozy touches. Perfection can even elevate a small-town caterer into a lifestyle icon and multi-millionaire. Does the name Claire Thompson ring a bell?
As parents and consumers, we are often the main targets of perfection-driven marketing. We are bombarded with messages suggesting that perfect homes, flawless meals, immaculate birthday parties, and ideal parenting styles are the keys to happiness.
However, what glossy magazines and curated Pinterest boards fail to emphasize is that even a single day spent chasing the elusive ideal of perfect parenting can slowly erode your spirit. I speak from experience; my quest for perfection nearly consumed me.
For years, I dedicated myself to creating an immaculate environment for my family. I was constantly on the metaphorical hamster wheel, convinced that everything around me had to mirror the picture-perfect standards I saw portrayed on television or in catalogs. I often found myself fretting, “What if someone drops by right now?” or “If I don’t bake a cake from scratch and spend weeks crafting party favors and planning elaborate games, will anyone even enjoy the celebration?”
The reality? People rarely remember the perfect details. Your friends, kids, and partner won’t recall the stunning cake or the meticulous decorations. What they do remember is how frazzled and unhappy you were leading up to the event. And you’ll remember not the taste of the cake but the hours wasted trying to fit an impossible mold.
Years ago, I decided to abandon the pursuit of perfection. I cast off that perfectionist mindset and never looked back. I made it clear to my family that the era of striving for flawless was over. Instead, we would face the reality of imperfection together and embrace life as it is, diving headfirst into a more relaxed approach to parenting.
A fascinating transformation occurs when you announce to yourself and the world that you are done with perfection. Your perspective shifts, and what you once deemed unacceptable becomes liberating. When “average” becomes your new standard, you might find that your attitude toward life—and even your kids—improves drastically. The little quirks of childhood become less about your shortcomings and more about the natural behavior of kids.
Adopting an “average is great” mentality brings a wave of relief that can feel almost euphoric. It’s a way of saying, “Enough with the unrealistic ideals that have saturated my mind for years.” I like to refer to this as “flipping off perfection, one ‘I don’t care’ moment at a time.”
Many books explore how to let go of unnecessary worries, and if we compiled all the concerns mothers typically carry, it would likely fill a small library. However, there’s no need to wait another second or bake another from-scratch cake to free yourself from the constraints of perfection. You can choose to reject it today. Inform your family that reality is taking over, and start living your average, yet infinitely more joyful, life.
And just for the record, no one ever knocked on my door during all those times I was busy trying to create a perfect home environment.
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Summary
The pursuit of perfection can drain your energy and happiness as a parent. By letting go of unrealistic standards and embracing the average, you can find relief and joy in everyday life. Remember, nobody truly remembers the elaborate details; they remember the experience of being together.