Family time is undoubtedly precious. I recognize its immense value, but as my children reach the ages of 6 and 7, I’ve noticed they are becoming increasingly independent. They confidently order their meals at restaurants, express if they’re feeling too hot or cold, and can even grab a sweater when they need one. They choose their outfits for school, recite their favorite breakfast items, tie their shoelaces, and even know where to find extra toilet paper. They can read school notices and tell the time.
These milestones made it clear to me that my husband, Mark, and I needed a break from our daily routine—the endless to-do lists that revolve around laundry, dinner, and homework. My children have enjoyed a wonderful childhood thus far. Despite living in an area with incredibly affordable daycare (just $7 a day, Canadian!), they never attended because our work schedules were perfectly aligned for them.
I wake the kids, dress them, and ensure they have breakfast before dropping them off at school. Mark picks up our daughter, Lily, for lunch at 10:45 and our son, Jake, at 11:30. He prepares their meals, walks them back, and then picks them up again at 3:30 after cooking their second meal of the day. Unfortunately, he rarely gets to eat his own meal as I arrive home just in time for him to leave for work at the restaurant. My evenings are consumed with bath time, homework, piano practice, and preparing dinner. Nighttime is when I tackle housework and laundry, often with Mark finishing what I couldn’t.
Our arrangement has worked wonders for the kids. They enjoy quality time with both parents, a shorter school day compared to their peers in after-school care, and two home-cooked meals daily. Our focus is entirely on them, every single day.
But what about us? Mark and I share quick kisses in the morning and a lingering goodbye in the driveway. Our conversations often occur late at night, if I manage to stay awake. Saturdays are consumed by swimming and judo classes, leaving Sundays as our only day to reconnect as a family. It’s a challenge to keep our relationship vibrant amidst our busy lives.
We fell in love passionately in our early 30s and welcomed our children soon after, with just 15 months between them. Life has been a whirlwind since, yet we remain close friends, have a fulfilling intimate life, and largely agree on parenting and household decisions. While we’re not facing immediate issues, I worry about the future. Many couples we know drift apart amidst their busy lives, and I don’t want that for us.
So, we made a bold decision: we took a three-week trip. Leaving the kids with their grandparents, we packed ten pages of detailed instructions, emergency contacts, and a set of little packets for the kids to open during our absence. We backpacked through Cuba, embracing spontaneity without reservations, relying on our limited Spanish and plenty of hand gestures. With no cell service and the Internet only available sporadically, we immersed ourselves in the experience.
We slept on sandy beaches, enjoyed midnight strolls along the famous Malecon in Havana, munching on 60-cent pizzas and sipping 5-cent coffees. We explored museums without cartoon characters to hold our attention, snorkeled, hiked, and even napped in public parks. I lost myself in books while Mark fished, and we rekindled our intimacy without the stressors of daily life.
At 40, we traveled with the freedom and excitement of our 20s and had ample time to converse. We missed our kids, of course, but our discussions shifted from them to us and everything in between.
I reflect on my daughter, Lily, with her endearing freckles and love for animals, and my son, Jake, who is obsessed with Ghostbusters. I refuse to let our relationship suffer because of family commitments. I don’t regret our choices—our children are thriving, and I want to set an example of a loving partnership for them.
One day, they will grow up and leave home, and I want them to have memories of us laughing and enjoying life together. It’s crucial to give them a model of a healthy relationship to aspire to in their own lives. After all, I want my children to experience the same fulfilling family life and partnership that I cherish.
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Summary
In a heartfelt narrative, Jenna Lee shares her and her husband’s journey of taking a three-week trip without their children to reconnect and strengthen their relationship. With insights into their family life and the importance of maintaining a loving partnership, Jenna emphasizes the balance between parenting and personal connection.