A few weeks ago, my son’s principal reached out to inform me that my child had been involved in a physical altercation at school. She explained that he had been punched in the face and, while he was okay, he didn’t look quite like himself. I appreciated the heads-up, but I also had to pick him up immediately. He had defended himself against a boy who was two years older and had drawn blood, so he was facing consequences. The principal had reviewed the footage and acknowledged it was a case of self-defense, but the school’s policy dictated that he should have run away instead.
According to my son, however, there’s little room to escape in the hallways when a fight erupts. Once kids gather around, finding a path to safety becomes nearly impossible. While I understand the school’s intent to maintain safety, I don’t know any parent who would be comfortable with their child taking a beating until a teacher intervenes. Likewise, I wouldn’t condone my child ignoring inappropriate touches or bullying.
Fortunately, two teachers intervened quickly, and the situation was resolved. Although my son resisted the urge to retaliate to avoid further trouble, he had been anxiously anticipating this confrontation after the older boy threatened him for days. Personally, I don’t expect my children to be passive. I believe in teaching them to stand up for themselves.
I don’t advocate for violence as a solution to disagreements, but I do encourage my kids to defend themselves if they’re being harmed. Running away only makes one a more enticing target, as aggressors might view it as an opportunity to assert dominance. I question the limits of tolerance: when does a child simply endure harassment? When does it become acceptable to fight back?
I firmly believe in setting boundaries, and it’s crucial for my children to know how to defend themselves. This doesn’t mean I promote physical confrontation as a first response; rather, I want them to understand that self-defense is a valid course of action when necessary. So yes, if my child feels threatened or scared, they might punch your child—and I fully support that decision.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, teaching children to assert themselves while maintaining boundaries is essential. I encourage my kids to stand up for themselves against bullying and inappropriate behavior, reinforcing their right to defend themselves if necessary.