Once upon a time, a mother-blogger named Sarah Thompson captured attention with a time-lapse video showing her sleeping alongside her children. Like many parents of young kids, her nights involve at least one child nestled next to her, often getting kicked or nudged in the process. The video resonated with many parents, as it highlighted a universally relatable experience: the chaotic yet tender moments of nighttime parenting.
Watching the video brought back memories for me—though those sleepless nights are largely behind me, I vividly recall the exhaustion paired with the sweet exchanges of affection that characterize early childhood. As a mom of older kids, I can assure you that those intimate moments pass more quickly than you might think.
However, as I read through the comments on Sarah’s video, I was dismayed to see a mix of supportive sentiments and harsh criticisms directed at her parenting choices. “This is so sad,” one commenter wrote. “Why put yourself through this? Your kids should sleep in their own beds!” Another chimed in, “The biggest mistake is letting them into bed. My kids sleep 10 hours straight without interruptions.”
Such comments reflect a troubling trend in parenting discourse—where judgment often overshadows empathy. First and foremost, Sarah was not seeking advice or criticism; she was sharing a celebration of the connection she feels with her children during those vulnerable moments. Her intention was clear: to encourage other parents who share similar experiences of nighttime struggles.
Why do so many people feel compelled to offer unsolicited sleep advice or criticize parenting choices? The reality is that parents of young children are already bombarded with a plethora of opinions, especially concerning sleep, which is one of the most challenging aspects of raising young kids. And here’s the truth: regardless of how well-behaved your child may be, if you’re a parent, you’re likely to be tired. It’s just part of the parenting package.
Parents’ sleep choices are influenced by a myriad of factors, including genetics, temperament, and personal beliefs. Some children naturally sleep well, while others do not. Furthermore, different families have different philosophies regarding sleep training; what works for one may not work for another.
Unless you are living in a family’s shoes, you cannot accurately judge the choices they make regarding sleep. Comments such as “Why do this to yourself?” or “Why haven’t you trained them?” not only reflect a lack of understanding but also add unnecessary stress to already overwhelmed parents. What they truly need is validation and reassurance that they are doing their best.
Parents must know that they are not alone in their exhaustion and that these challenging phases are temporary. They need to trust their instincts and understand that while there is a wealth of advice available, it’s ultimately up to them to decide what works best for their family. If a parent is curious about sleep techniques or advice, they will seek out the information themselves. What they don’t need is judgment from those who may not fully understand their situation.
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In summary, let’s move away from shaming parents for their choices about sleep. Every family’s dynamics are different, and understanding rather than judgment will pave the way for a more supportive parenting community.