I’ll be honest: I had a breakdown recently… during spring break… while driving back from an exhausting eight-hour road trip. Not my proudest moment.
Spring break should be a time for relaxation and family bonding, especially for teachers and parents. Yet, for many mothers, it morphs into a whirlwind of packing, unpacking, laundry, and preparing the kids to transition back to their routines. I was in full-blown chaos mode.
For months, I’ve juggled raising our children, managing a demanding job, maintaining our home, nurturing my website (essentially two full-time jobs), supporting our son’s special needs, being mindful of my health and weight, and navigating the challenges of my husband and I working opposite shifts—all while attempting to stay present with him during our rare moments together. This constant juggling act fills my anxious mind at all hours. I often feel like I’m failing.
And then it all came crashing down… in the car… somewhere in the scenic mountains of West Virginia. I broke down.
As I mentally compiled an ever-growing to-do list, I paused. “Honey, I can’t do this anymore,” I confessed to my husband, tears threatening to spill. We talked, and for the first time, I was truly honest. He had no idea how overwhelmed I felt.
Instead of generating another list (or three) just to find satisfaction in crossing items off (am I the only one who does this?), I’m learning to embrace the power of saying no.
- No, I won’t be contributing to the staff potluck next week.
- No, I can’t attend your event next weekend.
- No, we won’t be chaperoning prom.
- No, I can’t stay late after school for extra tutoring. This one hits hard, but it’s necessary.
This journey is challenging. It feels uncomfortable and even wrong at times. However, I believe many mothers are superheroes tackling extraordinary challenges. Yet, we must acknowledge that we can’t do it all. In reality, it’s not meant for us to carry every burden.
The dishes will still be there tomorrow. I can opt for a brisk walk during lunch instead of logging hours at the gym this month. My kids won’t suffer if I put them to bed instead of lying awake at night. And my husband is willing to help if I just ask.
I’m at the beginning of learning to say this word that feels awkward to utter: a simple two-letter word that carries immense guilt and shame. If I don’t prioritize what truly matters and decline the tasks that clutter my life and diminish my joy, I will continue to wear myself thin, ultimately affecting my family and myself negatively.
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In summary, saying no can be a powerful act of self-care for mothers. It allows us to focus on what truly matters, reducing stress and enhancing our well-being.