Updated: April 19, 2018
Originally Published: April 18, 2018
When I relocated to Northern California six years ago, I was excited about the region’s three major perks: pleasant weather, meeting my future spouse, and the availability of fine wine at every gathering. What I didn’t foresee was the local population’s intense enthusiasm for outdoor activities.
I understand the allure—there are stunning beaches, majestic mountains, serene lakes, and picturesque parks nearby. But let’s be honest: bugs. And unpredictable weather patterns.
I might step outside in warm weather, wearing a cute skirt and tank top, only to find that a mere five-minute drive changes everything, forcing me to don jeans and a windbreaker. How can I truly appreciate the great outdoors when I can’t even figure out how to dress appropriately?
My family thrives on outdoor adventures. My husband is always eager for a hike, and my daughter has been pleading for me to take her skiing. I feel guilty for denying her the joy of tumbling in the snow, but I genuinely cannot stand the cold; temperatures below 72 degrees make me feel ill. Last time I played golf with my husband, I think I suffered from sun poisoning!
I’m not a swimmer, and I flee at the sight of ants. For everyone’s sake, it’s best if I remain indoors.
Coming to terms with being an indoor mom has been a challenge. I dislike disappointing my family when I decline invitations, and it can feel isolating when so many friends thrive outdoors. I strive to find a balance between saying no and pushing through my discomfort, trying to keep that ratio in check.
While my indoor preference means my daughter’s playdates are also home-based, I find it far preferable to let the kids snack and watch TV here rather than chase them through the woods. I don’t mind the noise or the mess; as long as I can stay within the cozy confines of my home, I’m content.
There are exceptions to my indoor rule. I enjoy the beach—spending an afternoon lounging on the sand with a good book is bliss. However, even that can be spoiled. For example, during a trip to Hawaii last summer, I spotted a family of sand crabs digging nearby and refused to return to the beach for the rest of the trip, opting instead to relax on a poolside chair overlooking the ocean.
In the past, my husband and daughter would express disappointment when I said no to outdoor plans, leaving me feeling like a bad mom and wife. I worried that my indoor preferences would hinder my daughter from experiencing life as her friends did.
However, as I grow older, I realize that I make countless sacrifices for my family every day. If I don’t want to deal with flies while eating, sleep on the ground while camping, or endure aching feet from walking through the woods, that is my prerogative. They can go without me.
If I were neglecting my family’s needs or never agreeing to anything, that would warrant criticism. Instead, I’m simply a woman who knows what she enjoys, and most of it happens to be within my home. I’m not stopping my family from enjoying skiing trips or rugged camping excursions; I’ll just stay home and keep the couch warm until their return.
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