In recent years, I have quietly observed as friends have promoted everything from extravagant nail art to pricey cleaning supplies, expensive hand towels, and pre-packaged meals. I have ignored countless invitations to makeup parties, jewelry showcases, and events that pressure me into purchasing monogrammed tote bags for exorbitant prices.
While I’ve tried to be supportive when friends earnestly claim that selling leggings will transform both their lives and mine—despite knowing they’re not being totally honest—I’ve reached my limit with a new trend in MLM marketing: teeth.
Yes, folks, I am now being inundated with close-up photos of people’s less-than-perfect teeth, all in a bid to sell me a supposedly miraculous teeth whitening toothpaste. This has to stop. No one wants to see your discolored, crooked teeth, friends. Also, a touch of lip balm wouldn’t hurt if you’re going to post a zoomed-in image of your parched lips. #PresentationMatters
The MLM craze has now infiltrated the toothpaste market, which, of course, it has. One moment you’re scrolling through your news feed, and the next, the girl you shared a classroom with in second grade is showing off her not-so-pearly whites with a caption like, “My teeth are so white! Message me to learn my secret!” Sure, Linda. I’ll definitely reach out for that, as my tube of Crest from Target clearly isn’t cutting it. Why on earth would I trust tried-and-true brands like Colgate or AquaFresh, which are backed by the American Dental Association and approved by the FDA?
Let’s be real. It’s time to put a stop to these cringeworthy teeth photos and the associated toothpaste gimmicks. Not only can I almost sense the bad breath wafting through Susan’s Instagram post, but it’s essential to highlight that many of these products can be quite abrasive and harmful to your enamel.
After all, how else could these toothpaste sellers promise to make your teeth several shades whiter if they didn’t include harsh chemicals and abrasives? If you genuinely believe these toothpastes are safe, I have a fairy who collects old teeth that I’d love for you to meet.
A quick search reveals a plethora of warnings from qualified dentists regarding these products. Dr. Sam Roberts, a dental professional, examined one MLM toothpaste brand and shared his alarming findings in a YouTube video. He explains that these so-called “miracle” toothpastes often contain silica—yes, sand. Along with silica, they frequently include alumina, another abrasive ingredient. When combined, these components act like sandpaper on your sensitive enamel.
The most concerning part? These harsh toothpastes can etch away your enamel, revealing slightly whiter areas of your teeth, similar to how an etched glass window looks. Over time, this can make your teeth more prone to staining and cause permanent damage to your enamel. That’s a risk you shouldn’t be willing to take. Any friend who flaunts a bright smile while claiming to be a dental expert should raise immediate red flags.
If your Facebook feed resembles mine, you’ll notice friends you haven’t spoken to in years are eager to sell everything from leggings to jewelry. MLMs are why we can’t have nice things online. Whether it’s through annoying posts or direct messages, your “friends” want you to join them on their journey to achieve the elusive platinum diamond status, driving off into the sunset in their pink Cadillacs.
It’s frustrating enough that so many women are drinking the MLM Kool-Aid at these pep rallies for skincare and culinary products. When one of my friends excitedly announces she’s taken the plunge (read: a second mortgage on her home) to sell wine from her car trunk, I can’t help but roll my eyes. Statistics reveal that 50% of MLM companies fail within the first year, and 95% are out of business by the five-year mark. But hey, don’t let that stop you from climbing that LulaRoe corporate ladder, right? I’ll just be here using toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend while shaking my head. For more insights on similar topics, check out this blog post on intracervical insemination.
In summary, the rise of MLMs focused on dental products is not only bizarre but potentially harmful. The trend of showcasing imperfect teeth to promote dubious whitening toothpastes is alarming. Before jumping into these schemes, consider the statistics and the long-term health of your teeth. For more expert advice on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Progyny, and for a comprehensive guide on home insemination, check out Make A Mom.