As a mother, my goal is to raise my daughter to be compassionate, aware of others, and inclusive. I also want her to have the confidence to stand up for herself when necessary. While I don’t endorse violence, I believe it’s important for her to know how to navigate challenging situations—especially in a world where some boys exhibit entitlement and assumptions. It’s my duty to equip her with the tools to confidently assert herself, which is why I’ve decided to eliminate certain words from my vocabulary.
The language I use matters not just as a parent but also as a professional. My words can shape my daughter’s inner dialogue and influence her perception of herself in the workplace. It’s crucial that she hears affirmations that empower rather than hinder her growth. To that end, there are three words that I will no longer use: perfect, just, and little.
Perfect
This word often slips out when I admire my children’s creations—“It’s perfect!” While I mean well, declaring something as perfect sends an unintended message that perfection is attainable. I’ve learned from my own experiences that striving for perfection can be detrimental. Instead, I want to celebrate effort and creativity without attaching unrealistic standards. Women, in particular, often use this term, yet I rarely hear men do the same. Men tend to offer constructive feedback instead of defaulting to praise.
Just
This term can belittle our contributions or opinions. Phrases like “I’m just checking in” or “I was just about to say” undermine our authority and diminish our voices. In a professional context, it’s unnecessary to justify our actions or communications. Men don’t tend to use this word, and by dropping it from our conversations, we can assert ourselves with greater confidence.
Little
This word is often employed to describe people or situations in a way that can feel condescending. While it may seem harmless, calling something “little” can downplay its significance. For instance, referring to my son as “little” might be accurate in terms of size, but outside of that context, it can sound dismissive. It’s vital for women to avoid using this term about themselves or their lives, as it can suggest a lack of confidence.
The way we communicate shapes how we perceive and are perceived in the world. By consciously changing our language, we can alter our interactions and foster a more empowering environment for ourselves and our children. I hope these adjustments will not only benefit me but also guide my daughter toward embracing her true self.
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In summary, reevaluating our word choices can lead to more empowering interactions and a stronger sense of self, especially for our daughters.