As a new mom, I was unprepared for the whirlwind of opinions that would come my way when I decided to let my son grow his hair long. During my pregnancy and at the new mom orientation, I felt like there were significant gaps in the information provided. Little did I know that my choice regarding my son’s hair would spark countless unsolicited comments from family, friends, and even strangers. It’s as if boys’ hairstyles are a matter of public debate. Here are some of the remarks that have truly tested my patience:
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“Your daughter is adorable!”
Sure, at this age, the typical signs of gender are often blurred. My son, at two, lacks defining facial hair or the muscular build often associated with boys. He simply looks like a child. So, why is it that compliments on his appearance always come with an assumption about his gender, especially when he’s dressed in masculine attire? -
“I thought he was a girl because he’s so pretty.”
This is a common response when I correct someone’s assumption about my son’s gender. While I appreciate the compliment, it highlights the outdated notion that beauty is exclusively feminine. Boys can be beautiful too, and I tell my son that regularly. It’s essential to expand our language to embrace all forms of beauty, regardless of gender. -
“Can I touch his hair?”
Let’s be clear: our children are not exhibits. Asking to touch a child’s hair, regardless of texture, is inappropriate. It’s alarming how many people feel entitled to do so. A fellow mom, Laura, shared her shock at the number of people who assume touching her son’s curls is acceptable. -
“He’d look more grown-up with a haircut.”
Let’s face it—he’s two years old. No matter what hairstyle he has, he will still be a toddler. There’s no need to rush the process of growing up. Soon enough, he will be a big boy, but for now, he’s just a little one enjoying life. -
Jokes About Secret Haircuts.
When family members joke about taking my son for a haircut while babysitting, it’s not funny. It’s an invasion of our parenting choices. Until he can decide for himself, my husband and I will make those decisions. Such comments could jeopardize their babysitting privileges. -
“When will he get a haircut?”
This is as intrusive as asking someone about their weight or personal finances. My son’s hair is regularly maintained, and he looks just as polished as any child his age. Comments on his hair are unwarranted and crossing a line. -
“You’re going to let him decide when to cut his hair?”
Empowering children to make reasonable decisions, including about their appearance, is a key aspect of authoritative parenting. For us, as long as my son enjoys his long hair, that’s what matters. “We won’t cut it unless he asks us to,” shares Emily, another mom. “He insists we use the word trim to keep it healthy, and that’s what we honor. His happiness is our priority.”
I refuse to let societal expectations of male beauty dictate how my son chooses to express himself. As long as I’m caring for his hair and maintaining it properly, I don’t require input from others. Parents of boys with long hair are quite capable of making these decisions—so thanks, but no thanks.
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In summary, moms of boys with long hair face a unique set of challenges, primarily revolving around unsolicited opinions and societal expectations. It’s important for us to stand firm in our choices and prioritize our children’s happiness and self-expression.