Revised: October 5, 2023
To my fellow parents at youth sporting events, classmates from college, and colleagues from various workplaces, I must clarify: the issue lies not with you, but with me.
My experiences with anxiety have led me to adopt behaviors that might be perceived as socially exclusive. The unfounded worries and persistent fears that accompany my condition often manifest in my social media interactions. These anxieties have driven me to ignore or reject nearly every friend request that crosses my path. You may have thought you were alone in feeling ghosted, but I assure you, many others share this experience.
Understanding the Barriers
Consider this: I worked alongside a colleague for over two years before I felt comfortable enough to accept her Facebook friend request, which she sent shortly after her onboarding. This was not an acquaintance I encountered sporadically; we collaborated daily. So, what was the barrier to acceptance? The mere notion of having a larger circle of social media contacts made me uneasy. The thought of numerous individuals having insight into my life was intimidating.
What kind of “business” might they uncover, you ask?
- Pictures of my child participating in sports
- Inspirational quotes sourced from various pages
- Fun moments captured with close friends
- Light-hearted puns or quirky jokes
Indeed, these mundane aspects of life can seem scandalous when viewed through the lens of anxiety. It is a paradoxical reality; my anxiety disorder creates a landscape filled with irrational fears and protective mechanisms. A belief that those who sought friendship were also potential sources of harm—emotionally, not physically—led to my unintended social media snobbery.
My Social Media Circle
To illustrate, my social media circle was limited to a select group of individuals—those who were already privy to my life’s intricacies (such as my sister and best friend) or those from my past, who lived far enough away to render their potential judgments irrelevant. I employed every privacy setting available and made my profile unsearchable to those not connected through mutual acquaintances. Requests from colleagues were met with hesitation, particularly from those who reached out shortly after our initial meeting.
My behavior was neither intentional rudeness nor an act of exclusion; rather, it was a misguided attempt at self-preservation in the face of perceived threats. However, I have recently decided to confront these longstanding fears and embrace my anxiety disorder. At the forefront of this journey was my relationship with social media.
A Significant Step Forward
Approximately ten days ago, I took a significant step forward. I sifted through around 75 pending friend requests, ultimately accepting 15. Additionally, I reached out to a few others myself. This act of connection sparked a wave of new friend requests, which, while intended to foster relationships, triggered an immediate tightening in my chest with each notification.
In a moment of vulnerability, I reached out to a colleague for reassurance. She provided comfort, reminding me that people are often simply seeking connection. Following her advice, I began accepting requests more freely and now find myself with 278 friends. I have also managed to reduce my pending requests to just 15—a personal milestone!
The Takeaway
The takeaway from this experience is clear: confronting one’s fears can be daunting, even when those fears may seem trivial to others. If you experience what I will term FOSM (Fear of Social Media), remember that you are not alone. For those who thrive on social media, sharing humorous posts and engaging with countless friends, your contributions are appreciated and provide much-needed levity for those of us who may struggle.
For further insights into the implications of social media in various contexts, you might explore additional resources, such as this informative post on intracervicalinsemination.com. If you are interested in at-home insemination options, Make A Mom provides excellent guidance on these matters. Furthermore, for comprehensive information on fertility treatments, UCSF’s IVF resource serves as a valuable tool.
In conclusion, navigating anxiety and social media can be a complex journey. Progress is achievable, and embracing connections, however daunting, can lead to meaningful relationships.