Why I Am Not Delaying Life Until Age 40

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In the pursuit of knowledge, connection, growth, and inner peace, I have always been a seeker. This intrinsic desire became particularly pronounced during my first psychology class in high school, where I began to truly listen and seek understanding—not only of myself but also of the broader human experience. Today, this commitment to self-discovery might be labeled as personal development or self-help, concepts often associated with the later stages of young adulthood. I owe a debt of gratitude to Ms. Thompson, my high school teacher, for igniting this journey at the young age of 16.

My spare time is often spent immersing myself in heartfelt memoirs and narratives that combine personal experience with educational insights. I frequently find inspiration from luminaries such as Claire Thompson, Lila Greene, Jenna Hayes, and Maya Robinson, who have become my unofficial mentors. While I’ve only met one of them in person, their profound influence on my life is unmistakable.

Their discussions on the liberating mindset that supposedly arrives at 40—which includes a newfound authenticity and the shedding of societal pressures—resonate with me. They describe a threshold where one finally embraces their true self, flaws and all, with a purpose that can be felt even on the quietest days. This notion of 40 as a magical landmark where one becomes too exhausted to care about societal expectations is appealing; you reach a point where you simply cannot deal with the weight of it all, as Jenna would say.

The practicalities of life—like unkempt hair, a well-worn dress from years ago, and the candid, often challenging dialogues with my children—become the fabric of daily existence. The little moments, such as the laughter shared during bath time or the smell of a loved one, hold immeasurable value, while the fleeting trends and celebrity gossip fade into irrelevance. Life is a tapestry woven with simplicity and complexity in equal measure.

As I reflect on my own journey, I realize I am just shy of 34. I have attained a college degree, pursued a Master’s and a PhD, established my own business, and embraced motherhood—all while navigating the complexities of relationships and finances. I refuse to wait six more years for the supposed wisdom that comes with turning 40.

Currently, my bathroom harbors four cans of dry shampoo, and I’m wearing a strapless dress tagged “size small” from 2015. Just yesterday, while cleaning out my daughter’s lunchbox, I was confronted with a peanut-butter-stained napkin, only to be asked by my 10-year-old to explain the meaning of LGBTQ. I took out the trash, proudly breaking down cardboard boxes and making space in the recycling bin. Amidst these mundane tasks, I also find joy in sharing moments with a friend who is expecting her first child, reveling in the beauty of new beginnings.

As I write this from the beach—my makeshift office—I am reminded of the complexities of life, including the painful loss of my sister to suicide in 2016. This juxtaposition of simplicity and intricacy serves as a reminder that living authentically is a journey best embarked upon without delay.

My esteemed mentors may have paved the way for introspection, but I believe in the urgency of cultivating personal growth now, rather than waiting until a later age. It’s easy to become engulfed in the chaos of daily life—forgetting to pause, to embrace the sun, or to connect with those who inspire us. Six years can easily slip away, leading one to a place of resignation at 40.

Therefore, I choose to be deliberate and intentional in my actions today. I am embracing a mindset of authenticity and vulnerability, willing to experience the discomfort that comes with growth. I am rewriting the narrative I tell myself and believing in something greater than myself. This is my life at 34.

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In summary, the journey of self-discovery and personal growth does not have to wait for age 40. Embracing life’s complexities and joys is a continual process that deserves attention now, not later.