In the forthcoming week, my son will celebrate his sixth birthday. Instead of embracing this milestone and reflecting on the cherished memories we’ve created, I find my thoughts consumed by anxiety. What if this is his final birthday? What if he inadvertently consumes something harmful at school? What if he experiences a severe allergic reaction? What if he doesn’t receive his EpiPen in time? What if it fails to work? The thought of losing him is unbearable.
To those who do not have children with food allergies, these worries may seem excessive. I understand that. The idea of food posing such a grave threat can be difficult to comprehend. Early in my parenting journey, I focused on shielding my daughter from tangible dangers—like high places, fast-moving vehicles, and unsafe situations. However, I now face the unique challenge of protecting my son from food itself. Food is ubiquitous, and the task of safeguarding him from it is daunting.
It feels as though my son lives in a bubble—much like the character from the film “Bubble Boy.” The idea no longer seems absurd; if I could encase him in a protective bubble, I would, without hesitation. Life experiences pale in comparison to the desire to keep him safe.
Having grown up with a shellfish allergy, I recognize that avoiding seafood is relatively simpler than steering clear of allergens like milk, eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts. The complexity of scrutinizing food labels and contacting manufacturers about their production processes reveals the pervasive nature of allergens. Many products do not clearly disclose the presence of these ingredients, and some use alternative names that can be misleading.
As a result, we primarily avoid dining out. When we do, my son brings his own meals. We’ve developed special recipes like pancakes, cupcakes, and “nice creams” to ensure he doesn’t feel excluded. He diligently packs his lunch for school, yet the persistent fear lingers. Even with all precautions taken, including his awareness of what to avoid and carrying an EpiPen, I worry that it might not be sufficient.
What if he grows older and starts to believe we’ve been exaggerating? What if he seeks to fit in and becomes complacent? What if he forgets to check labels or takes risks at a new restaurant? What if cross-contamination occurs at a trusted facility? What if he unknowingly interacts with someone who has ingested his allergens? What if someone plays a cruel prank involving his food?
These “what if” scenarios are overwhelming. Most concerning is the fear that I will become so entangled in these thoughts that I miss out on the present moment. What if I overlook the joy of celebrating his sixth birthday?
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In summary, the anxiety surrounding my child’s food allergies often overshadows the joy of his milestones. While I strive to protect him, I must also remember to appreciate the present.