A few Saturdays ago, I found myself at Target with my three teenagers, and it seemed like everyone else had the same idea to stock up on Easter treats and household essentials. As we made our way to the checkout, we encountered a toddler in front of us who was having a meltdown in the self-checkout line.
Navigating that line is already a challenge, and adding a screaming child banging on the cart with a box of tissues only amplifies the chaos. As we waited, my youngest turned to me and said, “Mom, I really feel for that dad. He’s got two kids, one clinging to him and the other wanting to escape, and he’s all alone.”
I empathized with him too, recalling my own experiences in stores or restaurants with my three little ones when they were younger, and how they would express their discontent over a myriad of things—like the smell in the store or not getting their favorite snack.
Looking at my three now, I felt a sense of relief that those days were behind us. Sure, teens come with their own set of challenges, but public tantrums over a container of candy are a thing of the past. It was amusing to share with them how many times they had put me through the wringer, and we all laughed about those chaotic moments together.
However, the two women behind us felt the need to jump in with unsolicited advice, claiming their children would never act out in public, and that if they had been in charge, things would have been entirely different. “If those kids lived under my roof, they’d know better,” one of them said to her friend.
Of course, this kind of commentary is all too common, both in person and on social media. People love to judge, saying things like, “If those were my kids, they wouldn’t dare act like that,” or “Parents just need to be tougher.” It’s frustrating to see this attitude, as it implies that children are programmed to behave perfectly all the time.
What these judgmental individuals fail to realize is that kids are not robots; they have feelings and can experience a range of emotions, including frustration and sadness. You don’t know what might have led to that moment of chaos. Perhaps the child was teething, tired, or simply overwhelmed by the situation. They might be feeling unwell or struggling with sensory overload.
I once witnessed a family at a fast-food restaurant where a toddler was in complete meltdown mode, and they had to take him outside to calm down. As it turned out, they were on a long road trip, and the child hadn’t been able to use the restroom for several days—it was a tough situation for everyone involved. Had I been in his shoes, I might have acted out too!
Next time you see a child misbehaving in public, do everyone a favor and keep your opinions to yourself. It doesn’t help anyone to voice judgment, and it only adds to the stress that the struggling parent is already experiencing. Instead, remember that kids are, well, kids. Honestly, I see more rude behavior from adults in public than from children.
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In summary, the next time you witness a parent dealing with a challenging moment, take a step back. You never know the full story behind their situation. Remember, we’re all just trying to do our best in a world that’s often chaotic.