Hey there,
First off, I want to say it’s quite a surprise to see that you got my contact info from an old acquaintance I haven’t spoken to since high school. That’s definitely a unique way to reach out! And since I’m active on social media, I guess privacy isn’t really a concern for me, right? Thanks for the cheerful note!
Then, when I didn’t reply right away, I appreciate you following up with not one, not two, but three more messages! Your persistence really is commendable, and I must admit, you finally wore me down enough to respond, even if it was against my better judgment. I’ll give you credit for making it feel casual and friendly, almost as if we were already pals, which is impressive considering we’ve never met.
You started with some friendly chit-chat to lower my defenses. Clever move! I do enjoy casual conversations, especially with new people. I had no idea you were leading me towards a pitch for your products. It was quite the strategy—asking if I wanted to feel healthier and shed some pounds, framing it like it was my idea to dive into a sales discussion.
When I said no, you seemed a bit taken aback. I apologize if that came off as rude. After all, you went through the effort of assessing my photos and judging my lifestyle, and here I was, uninterested in your unsolicited advice. And, let’s face it, I’m not exactly thin! It’s ironic that you’re here to inform me about my health when, according to statistics, about half of American women are a size 14 or larger. I guess that means there’s a significant market for you to target, even if it involves telling people they aren’t healthy based on their appearance.
I appreciate your offer of untested products and guidance from someone without medical expertise. Oh, my mistake; you’ve definitely reviewed all the marketing materials and attended webinars. That’s reassuring! You then suggested I could try a product for free if I agreed to post a pre-written message on social media. Initially, I wasn’t interested, but I saw it as a potential opportunity to kickstart my influencer career. I shared my rates (which I thought were quite reasonable), but you seemed taken aback, explaining how this is your livelihood as a small business owner. Don’t I want to support a female entrepreneur? Hashtag boss babe, right?
You emphasized how fantastic you felt after using your products, and invited me to check out your posts. I did, and I couldn’t help but notice the poorly lit photos, generic posts, and an overwhelming use of emojis. Plus, the product names were conveniently hidden to spark curiosity. It’s clear you rely heavily on social media for leads and sales.
Despite my clear lack of interest, you continued to invite me to join your team, selling products I have no desire to use. I was flattered that you thought I’d excel in sales, especially with no experience and a modest social media following. When I expressed my concerns about it being a pyramid scheme, you assured me it wasn’t. Your reassurances were comforting, considering the compensation structure looked a bit concerning.
You claimed your MLM isn’t one of the ones facing lawsuits, and I’m sure you’re not among the 99% who lose money—those individuals just need to work harder, right? You’re putting in the effort, constantly posting and seeking leads, and it’s likely straining your relationships with friends and family who feel pressured to support your overpriced products.
If this opportunity isn’t the right fit, you mentioned there are others—makeup, leggings, wax warmers, books, body wraps, essential oils, and children’s clothing. I just need to invest a little for a starter kit, and with enough hard work, I might even make a fortune. What a tempting offer, almost too good to be true!
So, thanks but no thanks. I’ll politely pass.
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Summary
In this humorous response, the author reflects on the persistent and enthusiastic approach of someone promoting a multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme. They navigate the discomfort of unsolicited advice on health and wellness while highlighting the tactics used in network marketing. Despite the pressure, the author remains firm in their decision to decline the offer.