Let me begin by saying that when I set out to write this, I imagined myself at my kitchen table, enjoying a hot cup of coffee in the serene atmosphere of my home. However, that’s not how it unfolded. That’s merely the curated image you see on Instagram, not the reality. In truth, I kicked off this piece at 11 a.m. while making calls to a friend to figure out where to begin. Shortly after, I fielded several business inquiries and personal calls from friends grappling with tough life challenges (you know, the struggles we rarely share on social media). Oh, and I also managed to change the sheets on three beds. It’s a mess.
And just so you know, my coffee is now cold, and it’s already 1:30 p.m.
When I say messy, I don’t mean simply needing a good vacuum or dusting—although that can be the case, as illustrated by the image of my home above. I’m talking about the kind of mess that reflects raw, unfiltered life. It feels chaotic, leading us to believe we must tidy up and conceal it from others. Life is not always pristine, nor does it fit neatly into that beautifully designed wicker laundry basket we envisioned for our laundry room shelf. It’s just life. Things rarely go according to plan, and sometimes we need to slog through the muck just to make it through the day—or even a single moment. And that’s perfectly acceptable. Often, navigating through the grime can bring us some of our greatest blessings. If we can shift our perspective about the messiness, we might uncover something good.
The Lessons I’ve Learned
The most significant lesson I’ve learned as a mother is straightforward: My children won’t always behave the way I want them to.
In my marriage, I’ve come to understand that it’s not solely about me.
And the biggest takeaway from life so far? We make mistakes, but we can rectify them and start anew.
With the struggles, there often comes the silver lining. It’s all part of the learning process. We’re not alone in this; many of us are navigating similar paths. Yet, we can feel isolated when confronted with those flawless images, perfect posts, and dreamy filters. Have you ever tried taking the ideal selfie? It’s as challenging as getting all your kids to smile simultaneously in a family photo while ensuring the dog isn’t looking away. So, if we’re willing to snap 20 selfies or have our family photos edited, why would we expect life to unfold perfectly in real time?
This past winter, I shared about a significant snowstorm in my town that was enough to close down many places and sent everyone scrambling to stock up on groceries. Instead of embracing the moment, many were consumed with what might go wrong. In my post, I encouraged everyone to pause and appreciate the experience. But what if we took it a step further and recognized the lessons or blessings that the moment presented? What if we embraced the messy parts we often shy away from?
Imagine standing in that soft snow, inhaling its scent. What if we expressed gratitude for the tranquility it brought? Or simply closed the doors and cherished the snugness of our homes and families, enjoying that unplanned day of just being together?
Let’s push the envelope further: What if we celebrated those 19 selfies that didn’t turn out as expected? What if we shared those images and revealed our unfiltered lives in all their chaotic glory? It’s a daunting thought, I know, but everyone grapples with it. Why are we hesitant to show our realities?
I may not hold a degree in what’s right or wrong, nor do I have professional training in women’s studies, marriage, or child-rearing. However, I possess a listening ear. As a woman in a predominantly female industry, I interact with women daily. I hear about their routines, their children, their marriages, their careers, and their lives. I absorb the small victories and the monumental struggles—the kind that can knock the wind out of you.
What I have also witnessed is these women rising back up. They come back week after week, sharing how they’re persevering. Though it’s chaotic and can be challenging, they’re working toward something better. The moment they acknowledge their messiness is when they begin to pick up the pieces, allowing those experiences to lead them into the next chapter of their lives. Don’t hide your chaos, embrace it. Use it as fuel for the good.
You can’t have a tidy home without first experiencing the mess. And if your space remains cluttered while you focus on other aspects of life, that’s perfectly fine. These are the moments we often overlook. The irony is that we all face this reality, yet we’re too busy fixating on those perfectly curated images from others’ lives, including the ones we post ourselves. I assure you, they have their own collection of less-than-perfect moments too. You just can’t always see them.
We all have our chaos, and it shifts from day to day. Life isn’t filtered, and it’s far from flawless. Yet, within that imperfection, we can discover our unique version of perfection. So, live it! Embrace every part, even the messy bits. The chaos isn’t as bad as we think—it’s all about how we view it.
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Summary
In this candid reflection, Lisa Harper embraces the chaos of life, highlighting that messiness is a natural part of our experiences. She encourages readers to shift their perspective on imperfections and to recognize the blessings that can arise from navigating through difficult times. By sharing her own journey, she reassures us that we’re not alone in our struggles and that embracing the messy parts of life can lead to personal growth and resilience.