For the first four decades of my life, the idea of using a sex toy never crossed my mind. I found pleasure in my own way, both alone and with my partner, so why complicate things? Honestly, the thought of introducing a non-human object into my intimate experience felt strange. If I wanted something cold and unfamiliar inside me, I could just visit my gynecologist. No thanks.
Those who regularly use sex toys might find my perspective odd. What’s the fuss, right? I understand that sentiment, but after 40 years of satisfaction without toys, the notion of adding something new felt unnecessary—and frankly, a bit bothersome. I often thought, “I’m too old for that.”
Yet, it was precisely this mindset that pushed me to explore. As I age, I find myself more resistant to change. I hesitate to try new things, meet new people, or even incorporate new vibrating gadgets into my sexual life. I didn’t want to be that kind of middle-aged woman.
So, shortly after turning 41, I decided to welcome a few new companions into my life (which were generously provided to me for review). First up was the Sona by Lelo, a clitoral stimulator that resembles a stylish mini massager.
Next, I tried the Soraya, another Lelo product, which is a “rabbit vibrator” designed to stimulate both the clitoris and the vagina/G-spot.
Finally, I had the Crescendo, a versatile vibe that can twist into various shapes, allowing for solo or partnered use, and capable of stimulating multiple areas at once if positioned correctly.
I’ll admit, it took me a while to even unpack these gadgets. I have a bit of a tech phobia and was intimidated by the thought of charging them and connecting them to my phone (which is an option with the Crescendo). Plus, I worried about where to charge them without my curious kids discovering them. That aspect was stressful and certainly not sexy.
Eventually, I got it done. Actually, my husband took over the task of charging the toys, which was both ironic and a bit outdated, but it was necessary for me to proceed.
I first tested the Sona with my husband. It was fun and cute, but after a few minutes, it became irritating. The pressure felt either too light or too intense, no matter which of the numerous settings I tried. I experienced similar results when using it solo; nothing could compare to the satisfaction I found with my own hands. Relaxation is key for a good orgasm, and I just couldn’t relax with the Sona.
As for the Crescendo, I didn’t enjoy it for clitoral stimulation either. Vaginal stimulation was okay, but it lacked the fullness I desired. I can see how it might work for someone looking for targeted stimulation rather than full penetration, but it didn’t do much for me.
You might think I’m a total failure with sex toys, but I actually had a better experience with the Soraya! I used it while masturbating twice, and it turned out to be quite enjoyable. I did have to maneuver around the clitoral stimulator, which was somewhat annoying, but the G-spot stimulator hit just the right spot and provided the fullness I crave. For me, vaginal stimulation is something I always want more of, and the Soraya delivered.
Will I use it again? Maybe. As a busy working mom, the opportunities for self-pleasure are infrequent and brief. I’m not sure I’ll remember to charge it. Plus, the thought of cleaning it afterward (though not difficult, still a chore) is a bit off-putting.
Nonetheless, I’m fond of the Soraya, and it even made an appearance in one of my recent dreams, which I found delightful. This suggests I might be warming up to it and could soon see it as more than just a cold object—perhaps a second partner, as intended.
While my overall experience wasn’t overwhelmingly positive, it was enlightening. I realized that finding the right sex toy can take time, and everyone has different preferences. I initially thought I would prefer clitoral stimulators based on my friends’ experiences, but that wasn’t the case for me.
Ultimately, I learned that trying new things—yes, even those that require insertion—can be beneficial for someone like me, and it’s something I should pursue more often. If you’re exploring similar experiences, consider checking out this link for more insights. For an authoritative perspective on home insemination, this resource might also be helpful, as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, my first encounter with a vibrator in my 40s was a mixed bag, but it opened my mind to the possibilities of new experiences.