Fifteen years ago, my partner and I exchanged vows. We’ve been together for nearly two decades now—two whole decades. I was just 22 when we met, practically a child. Although I’ve never excelled at math, it strikes me that he has been part of my life for nearly as long as he hasn’t.
I could narrate a tale of love at first sight and describe him as my best friend, my soul mate, with hashtag posts like #soblessed. But the truth is, it wasn’t love at first sight in the conventional sense, and #soblessed often feels disingenuous to me. Yes, he is my best friend, but that term encompasses so much more—he’s my partner, my lover, my supporter, my confidante, and the person who still makes my heart flutter.
Our love story is extraordinary to us, yet it’s probably quite ordinary to everyone else. It’s remarkable in the way that all love stories are. In its simplest form, it includes law school, burritos, drinks, a late-night drive, and endless debates over what constituted our first date. The longer version? Years of dating, discovering each other, making foolish mistakes, falling in love repeatedly, and ultimately deciding that yes, he is the one I wish to share my life with—complete with thermostat arguments and minivan research.
Yet, when we made the commitment to each other, we had no real understanding of what it meant to share a life. How could we, when we were just naive twenty-somethings?
But here’s the incredible part of falling in love and growing up together: it isn’t just about aging as a couple; it’s about maturing side by side. You don’t simply share lives; you truly experience life together. Sometimes, if you’re fortunate, you come to realize that your decision to marry The One was made without knowing the full extent of what lay ahead.
When we said “I do,” we were blissfully unaware of how our lives would unfold. Our traditional vows didn’t hint at the unconventional family we would create years later. We had no idea how much we would evolve as individuals or how our growth would align compatibly. We didn’t foresee the challenges we would face together—like dealing with miscarriages or the heartache of watching our son cry on the baseball mound. We spent hours discussing everything from composting to the proper way to fold towels (yes, there is a correct method).
The truth is, I still don’t know what the future holds for us. I can’t predict the changes we’ll undergo or the highs and lows we’ll navigate together. And you know what? I’m grateful for that uncertainty. The adventure of growing up together has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
I don’t have the answers for why some marriages endure while others falter. It might be a blend of hard work, compassion, love, luck, and a sprinkle of magic. Not to mention, it helps to be with someone who respects and trusts you. I don’t have any expert advice, either; we’re still figuring it out as well. While 15 years of marriage—almost half my life—seems significant, in many ways, we’re just getting started. And let’s be honest, we still have some growing up to do.
What I do know is that there’s no one else I’d rather face this uncertain future with than him. And that’s more than sufficient.
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Summary
The author reflects on their marriage journey, emphasizing the growth experienced together over the years. They candidly discuss the lack of understanding they had when they first said “I do” and the unexpected joys and challenges that have shaped their lives. Ultimately, they express gratitude for the adventure of sharing life with their partner.