Last spring, when my credit card statement arrived, I felt a wave of dread wash over me. The amount was staggering—far beyond my typical expenses—and I couldn’t help but grimace at the total. Seriously? Bills and finances can be a real hassle. The sigh I let out while tossing the bill aside was only slightly exaggerated, I promise.
No, I hadn’t splurged on a shopping spree or booked an extravagant vacation—I wish that were the case! Instead, I had accumulated a hefty charge for summer camp fees for my kids, who, it turns out, can’t be left unsupervised during school breaks.
Since my children are still young, I make arrangements for childcare rather than leaving them to navigate school holidays on their own. In my area, summer camp costs about $225 a week per child (not including extended care). Daycare is similarly priced. With summer break lasting approximately eight weeks and my husband and I taking two weeks off, I’m left with six weeks of paid childcare to secure. No problem, right?
So, last spring, I dove into research, sought recommendations from fellow moms, mapped out a schedule, and dished out thousands of dollars in camp fees. Bring on summer!
(Side note: Given how advanced (but imperfect) our society is, why do we still lack affordable childcare options? And why are schools closed for eight weeks straight?)
Proving My Value Outside the Home
I’m a dedicated parent as well as a working individual, just like my husband. Yet, to many people’s eyes, our roles aren’t perceived as equal. My responsibilities at home and work are often undervalued, and I frequently find myself viewed as “choosing” to work, while my husband is simply seen as having a job.
As a feminist, I’m not surprised by this reality. It’s an ongoing struggle, and I recognize that I’ll often be identified first as a mother and second as a professional. My husband is expected to be the primary earner, while any work I do is regarded as a supplementary effort. It’s perplexing how I can be seen as merely “helping out” when my husband is celebrated for basic parenting tasks.
On professional development days or when one of the kids is unwell, the assumption is that I will stay home while my husband heads to work. In reality, we share these responsibilities—although my husband is often hailed as a hero for his involvement. Then there’s the moment that left me stunned.
While discussing summer camp expenses with a relative, I was hit with the question: “Is it even worth it for you to work?”
I was taken aback, and then I heard this inquiry again from friends and family. Each time, I brushed it off with a quick response that ended the conversation, but the underlying message lingered: “Is my work truly valuable as a mother?”
What do you mean, “worth it”?
Financially? Absolutely! I earn enough to cover childcare costs and contribute to our household—money that benefits our family, just like my husband’s salary does. We’re even in the same income bracket. So why is it simply assumed that he should work while I feel the need to justify my own value?
Emotionally? That’s a tougher question, given that mom guilt is all too real. I adore my children and miss them when we’re apart. Nevertheless, I’m still their mom. Our bond is strong. I make their breakfast, cheer them on, take them to activities, soothe their scraped knees, and navigate sibling disputes. I listen to their imaginative tales about unicorns and tuck them in until they drift off to sleep. Of course, my husband is equally involved in these tasks. With two kids, there’s more than enough parenting for both of us. So yes, we love our kids and want to spend time with them, but we also cherish our careers and, let’s be honest, our financial stability.
And what about my career? It existed long before my children arrived and will continue to thrive after they grow up. I’m passionate about my work and can’t imagine stepping away from it completely. That’s not to suggest every parent should work; stay-at-home parents are phenomenal, just as those who work outside the home are. Each family faces its own unique joys and challenges.
So, is my work worthwhile? Yes, unequivocally. It’s what I desire and what my family needs. Like every individual, I have skills, interests, and aspirations. I have dreams for both my children and my career, and they can coexist. The real issue is that I often find myself defending my choices, while my husband simply lives his life without scrutiny.
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In summary, as a working mother, I wish people would stop questioning the value of my work. I strive to balance my career and motherhood, and both are essential parts of my identity.