For as long as I can remember, anxiety has been a part of my life, starting from my late teenage years. I spent many years overlooking the signs, believing that my stress was simply a reaction to the challenges I faced—be it exams, family health issues, or other life events. Although I attended therapy a few times, the focus was always on specific incidents rather than my broader mental health patterns.
It wasn’t until I gave birth to my second child at thirty that I recognized my anxiety was more than just situational stress. Managing two young children felt overwhelming, and I often feared simple activities, like going down the stairs with both of them. I vividly imagined scenarios where my toddler might trip, causing a dangerous tumble down the steps. When my children weren’t asleep by 7:30 PM, I saw it as a personal failure, lashing out at both my kids and myself in frustration.
Recognizing this unhealthy cycle was crucial for my well-being and for my daughters. I returned to therapy, seeking clarity and understanding. It was then that I learned I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which means I tend to worry excessively, often without any real basis for concern.
Over the past two and a half years, I’ve committed to managing my anxiety. I’ve remained in therapy, established boundaries, incorporated yoga, and even started medication. Yet, I still wake up feeling stressed before the day has even begun. Some days, that familiar anxiety manifests as a tightness in my chest that’s hard to shake off.
While I’m gradually accepting that anxiety may be a lifelong challenge for me, what truly terrifies me is the thought of my children experiencing the same struggles. GAD has a genetic component, and through reconnecting with my own father, I discovered that he, too, battled significant anxiety. Now, I worry that I’ve passed this legacy down to my three beautiful kids, and there’s little I can do to prevent it.
This morning, as I was leaving for work, my mind drifted to the prospect of my children facing anxiety. I considered their individual personalities, wondering which one might be most susceptible to this persistent fear. During the drive to school with my oldest, a cheerful kindergartner, I thanked her for reminding me to take my medication. She suggested I make a daily chart to track my pill intake, and I was astounded by her problem-solving skills at just five years old.
After dropping her off, I felt a familiar anxiety creep in as I worried about her taking too long to exit the car, fearing we were holding up the line. I tried to mask my stress from her, but my heart raced when I spotted a security officer at the school entrance, a stark reminder of the world we live in today.
As I continued my commute, tears threatened to spill as I grappled with the reality of my children’s potential struggles. But amidst these fears, I also recognized the positive differences in how I’m raising them compared to my upbringing.
1. Encouraging Emotional Awareness
When my two-year-old son expresses frustration, I validate his feelings by saying, “You sound really frustrated!” and when he’s excited, I celebrate with him.
2. Owning My Emotions
If I lose my temper and my daughter says, “You scared me!” I acknowledge her feelings instead of deflecting blame. “You’re right; I shouldn’t have yelled,” I say.
3. Teaching Coping Mechanisms
Instead of dismissing emotions, I guide my children through breathing techniques during tough moments, saying, “Let’s breathe together.”
4. Modeling Self-Care
My children witness me engaging in yoga and making healthy choices, reinforcing the importance of self-care.
Through these practices, I hope to provide my children with the tools to manage their emotions. By regulating my own feelings, I’m creating a different environment for them, which may help reduce their chances of anxiety. And if they do face challenges, they’ll be equipped with coping strategies.
In some ways, I’m even grateful for my anxiety. It pushed me to learn vital skills that I can now pass on to my children. As I navigate this journey, I just hope that it’s enough.
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Summary
Navigating anxiety can be daunting, especially for parents concerned about passing it on to their children. By fostering emotional awareness, taking responsibility for their own feelings, teaching coping skills, and modeling self-care, parents can create a healthier environment that may reduce the likelihood of anxiety in their kids.