Parenting
I have a confession. I told my teenage daughter to “be quiet.” In fact, I think I’ve said it to her twice, both times in similar situations. I’m not proud of this, but I feel it’s important to be honest about my parenting struggles.
Swearing isn’t my usual style, especially around my kids, but I’ve found myself doing it when the moment becomes overwhelming. Why? Because there have been instances where my daughter, Lily, my youngest at 18 now, has really tested my patience, and I’ve found myself unable to step back.
Both times this happened were late at night. The last occasion was when she was 15, around 10 PM on a Friday. My husband was away, and I was exhausted after a long week. I was finally enjoying some quiet time with the TV remote all to myself, trying to unwind with a movie. Then, out of nowhere, Lily bounded down the stairs, demanding to go to a friend’s house for a sleepover.
She had everything arranged, and the friend’s parent, whom I didn’t even know, could be at our house in a mere 15 minutes. She was packed and ready to go—all she needed was my permission.
Which I didn’t give. I told her “no.” To let her go out at such a late hour without knowing the parents. To her surprise, I stood firm against her loud insistence and attempts to sway me.
At that moment, her approach felt like a barrage of demands. I remember my own childhood, dealing with my mother, who had a similar way of pushing for what she wanted. Exhaustion played a huge role in how I reacted. If I had taken better care of myself, perhaps I would have handled it differently. Instead, I found myself wanting to escape her relentless energy—just wanting her to quiet down.
The next morning, after reflecting on the situation, I sincerely apologized for my choice of words. I let her know that losing my temper wasn’t my intention and that I could have reacted in a more constructive way. I explained that her approach didn’t help either of us, asking her to consider another way to communicate—one that didn’t trigger memories of my mother’s demanding nature.
Fortunately, Lily listened. She hadn’t realized how her tone affected me. We both understood how important her friendships were and that we needed to improve our communication. I acknowledged my need to recognize when I’m reaching my limit, so I can disengage rather than react out of frustration.
It’s been three years since that incident, and I hope she has forgiven me. I’ve also learned to forgive myself. Because even competent mothers can sometimes tell their kids to “be quiet.”
If you’re interested in exploring the topic of home insemination and parenting, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. For more information on self-insemination, visit this authority on the subject.
Ultimately, this experience has shown me the importance of communication and self-awareness in our relationship.