Yes, men change diapers! And they definitely require a clean and safe space to do so when they are out and about with their little ones. But have we considered how the absence of changing tables in men’s restrooms impacts women as well?
One evening, my partner and I dined out with friends, each of us with kids in diapers. Inevitably, diaper duty called. My partner, being closest to our daughter, grabbed the diaper bag and headed for the restroom. He returned almost immediately, and I had become all too familiar with this scenario. It’s not that he’s breaking any speed records; the men’s restroom simply lacked a changing table. Once again, it fell to me to take her to the women’s restroom for a change.
In 2019, New York City enacted a law mandating that all new or renovated public buildings include changing tables in men’s restrooms, and other cities are beginning to follow suit. This is a significant step forward, although it should have happened much earlier.
Following the law’s passage, many articles praised the shift, emphasizing that fathers need a proper place for diaper changes, which is absolutely valid. However, this perspective overlooks a crucial point: the lack of changing tables in men’s rooms also affects women — specifically mothers.
Society often assigns the primary caregiving role to women, which is perpetuated by the presence of changing tables only in women’s restrooms. This reinforces the notion that it’s solely mothers who should handle diaper changes, leaving them to step away from social gatherings while men remain with the group. It’s women who must manage squirming infants on public changing tables, which can be quite the challenge.
Recently, a photo went viral showing a mother at a birthday party, separated from her family because her baby needed attention. An observer noted that no one stepped up to support her, leaving her isolated while others enjoyed the celebration. This highlights a larger issue about the visibility of mothers’ efforts in parenting.
People often wonder why postpartum depression is so prevalent among mothers. The answer may lie in societal expectations that place the majority of parenting responsibilities on them. While it’s great that men are advocating for change, we must also vocalize women’s needs.
What about a mother’s need for support when she’s feeling overwhelmed? We need a society that sees both parents as equals in their parenting responsibilities. While strides are being made in addressing postpartum depression, we should also focus on prevention and alleviating some of the burdens that fall disproportionately on women.
That night after dinner, I reached out to the restaurant manager to inquire about plans for adding a changing table in the men’s restroom. Moving forward, I intend to make similar requests whenever this issue arises. Change happens when we demand it, and it’s time for women’s voices to be just as heard as men’s.
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In summary, as we advocate for changing tables in men’s restrooms, let’s also recognize the broader implications for mothers and strive for a more equitable distribution of parenting responsibilities.