A friend recently shared a meme stating, “Dear guys embarrassed about buying tampons, no one thinks they’re for you.” Honestly, who cares if they do?
I had a lot to say about this, but instead, I simply pointed out that some men do indeed get periods. This is a reality that cannot be ignored. An anonymous individual then commented that my reminder about transgender men and nonbinary individuals experiencing menstruation didn’t need to be mentioned “on every single period post ever made.” They continued, “Mostly women get periods. There are more cis women than whoever else you think gets periods. It kinda feels like a ‘what about MEN though’ on every women’s post.”
To that commenter, who clearly brings a significant amount of privilege into this dialogue, here’s why it’s essential to address this topic. First off, this meme was not exclusively for women; it aimed to encourage men to mature and stop being immature when purchasing menstrual products. However, there’s more to this discussion. Men need to discard the stigma that menstruation is gross or strictly a women’s issue, and they should recognize that other men can and do bleed. It’s perfectly acceptable for people to assume the tampons bought by men are for themselves.
While my comment may have indeed carried a “what about men” tone, it was important to make clear that this was not a post directed solely at women. This isn’t about coddling male egos; it’s about challenging them, particularly the egos of cisgender men uncomfortable with supporting those who menstruate in their lives.
So, what about men? We need to ensure that when we talk about men, we include transgender men and nonbinary individuals as well. In addition to ego, cis men must release their homophobia and transphobia. When I teach LGBTQ topics or share queer content on social media, guess who often stays absent? Straight, cisgender men. It isn’t because they’re emotionally intelligent and fully aware; it’s that LGBTQ topics often make them uneasy, leading them to fear being linked to any queerness.
Toxic masculinity has seeped into our culture, and it’s time to eradicate it. Boys are raised to believe that feminine traits and emotions are unacceptable, and that boys who love boys or those who once lived as girls are not “real men.” This narrative needs to be dismantled because trans men are men, and nonbinary individuals may identify as male, whether through gender fluidity or a blend of gender identities.
Being a man isn’t solely tied to having a penis, and for some, it includes experiencing menstruation. So, to that commenter who doesn’t understand, the original meme was not aimed at women exclusively.
Moreover, while it’s true that more cis women experience periods than other groups, this doesn’t justify excluding non-cis individuals. It’s not just about acknowledging that others can menstruate; it’s about ensuring that non-cis folks don’t feel marginalized by the societal pressures surrounding menstrual products.
For transgender men and nonbinary individuals, menstruation can exacerbate issues like body dysphoria. The physical symptoms—bloating, breast tenderness, and the stark reminder that their bodies don’t align with their identities—can intensify feelings of depression and low self-worth. Until I see my experiences included in these discussions, I will continue to assert my presence in them.
What about transgender women, who may never experience the physiological reality of menstruation? Some trans girls find it painful to acknowledge that their bodies cannot perform as their minds desire. Just as we can’t assert that all girls get periods, we can’t assert that boys don’t.
I’d say to the guy hesitant about buying tampons, “It’s okay if someone thinks they’re for you. Sometimes men bleed, but that doesn’t diminish your masculinity. There’s no shame in the human body.” We ought to encourage boys to purchase menstrual products for those who menstruate, and remind them it’s perfectly okay if they need to use them too.
I tried to convey this perspective to the narrow-minded commenter, who replied, “I’m unmoved by your point of view; my opinion isn’t changing.” That’s unfortunate because, like a tampon, toxic opinions need to be changed before they cause harm to oneself or loved ones.
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource: Resolve. Also, if you’re interested in learning more about self-insemination, visit BabyMaker. For more insights, read our post on men and periods.
Summary
Men can and do experience periods, and it’s crucial to normalize this fact. The stigma surrounding menstruation needs to be dismantled, particularly among cisgender men, who must learn to support those who menstruate, including transgender men and nonbinary individuals. By fostering a more inclusive conversation, we can help break down toxic masculinity and promote understanding and acceptance.